.us open crap.

ME: Come on, Jelena!
NAZ: Come on, Zheng!
ME: *indignantly* Jelena!
NAZ: Zheng!
ME: JELENA!
NAZ: ZHENG!
ME: *whines* Carmen...!
CARMEN: Guys, it's late, shut up, the both of you.
ME: *sticks tongue out at Naz*
NAZ: *whispers* Zheng!
ME: Shut UP, idiot.
NAZ: I wasn't talking to you.
ME: Yeah, right. Go fuck yourself. Carmen... Naz is bullying me!
CARMEN: Naz, shut up. I'm trying to finish this.
NAZ: *innocently* What'd I do?
ME: *whacks Naz with a pillow* Shut UP! Go Jelena! I love you less than Amelie!
CARMEN: *clears throat*
ME: Oh, and less than Carmen, too.
NAZ: Haha, Jelena's gonna lose her serve.
ME: Fuck you, asshole. Bite me.
NAZ: *hums Flight of the Bumblebee*
ME: *mutters* I bet you're only supporting Zheng cause she's Chinese. *looks at screen* Owh, shit, yeah! Come on, JJ!
NAZ: *groans* Oh, balls.
ME: *does victory dance* I fell in love with the JJ, JJ.
CARMEN: *clears throat again*
ME: Uh, oh, oh, I got it! I fell in love with the DJ and JJ!
NAZ: *rolls eyes* Bollocks, come on Zheng.
ME: Come on Jelena! Allez Jelena! Davai Jelena! Vamos Jelena!
NAZ: You said that in every language except German and the language Jelena actually speaks.
ME: Okay, I'll do German. Mppgfhskt Jelena! And what language does Jelena actually speak?
NAZ: *silence*
ME: Okay, I'll act like I'm Ana cheering Jelena. I mean, Ana's mumbling is probably what they speak, right?
NAZ: *starts to laugh* Stephanie, shut the fuck up. Don't you dare-
ME: Ayhamverrihhappeetobeheretosupportmykantrimate.Yakoveesh.SheweelbenumberonenowthatIlose.
NAZ: *rolls on the floor, laughing, then looks at the screen* Damn, damn, DAMN!
ME: Hahahahahaha. *sings to the tune of The Bear Went Over The Mountain* Zheng fell over Jelena, Zheng fell over Jelena, Zheng fell over JELENAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
NAZ: *finishes* And so say all of us!
ME: What the *laughs* you crazy child of a gorilla my god, nutcase.
NAZ: Yeah, yeah, you make me laugh something chronic.
ME: So, anyway, we're cool, right? Cause, y'know, Zheng Jie's gonna lose, anyway.
NAZ: Who died and made you Maria Sharapova?
ME: Aw, c'mon. Y'know, I'm blonde, y'know, and I couldn't play in the US Open, y'know, cause I broke a nail, y'know. Regrets, y'know.
NAZ: Stephanie, I said shut the fuck up! *giggles* Jesus!
ME: Owh, shit, Jelena.
NAZ: Come on, Jelena! Let her hold!
ME: Shut the fuck up, asshole. You're like the whole of Kazakhstan in Borat.
NAZ: Aaaaand whoa gaaaah, YEAH ZHENG!
ME: ZHENG IS UGLY!
NAZ: Dammit.
ME: JELENAA! I love JELENAAA! Go JELENAAAA!
NAZ: *sarcastically* Where's the fire?
ME: Oh, look, did you see Serena?
NAZ: Don't blame your mum, Jelena...
ME: Serena can't wait to get on-court! Get back you b... Uh...
NAZ: Look at Jelena's mum. *high-pitched voice* Oh, Mr Williams...
ME: Ew. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, BITCH! In your face! Jelena WON!