...monday evening, and I really need to see you.

But you're afraid

Of something different;

I'm afraid

This could be perfect.

*

Now I'm hoping you love me,

And I'm thinking it

Might be my turn,

I think you're perfect,

Almost perfect,

And maybe I might love you.

*

Don't be afraid

Of something different;

I think

This might be perfect.

-- Jeremy Ashida; Only If.

*

ME: *walks out of English class, drink in hand*

WE: *talk*

ME: *laughs, almost dropping drink; drink spills a little* Dude. See!

YOU: Not my fault. *faking hurt*

ME: *thinks* Oh, darling, you're so cute, marry me already.

*

Today was good. Except for getting a whacking from Mina (who will kill me, seriously, why are you laughing, she will kill me; hah!), which made my shoulder hurt up till now. Woman's fucking scary, okay, don't mess with her. :)

What else to say?

My day had lots of Chewable in it today. Ohdearlord, there is someone up there who knows I'm doing my MDM homework and thinks I'm a good kid who deserves rewarding.

Fire drill sucked; I should've gone to Pink with Aruna. Le sigh.

Okay, more tomorrow, if I feel like it.

*

And do you know what? Our babies would be the cutest-ever Indian-Portuguese-Iranian little things. With the Chewable-ness.

*thinks, smiles*

Awh, hell yeah.

--and make you like it.

Your face reminds me of a flower,

Kind of like you're underwater;

Hair's too long and in your eyes,

Your lips, a perfect "suck me" size,

You act like you're fourteen years old,

Everything you say is so

Obnoxious, funny, true and mean.

I want to be your blowjob queen.

-- Liz Phair; Flower.

wonderful things = this, and you.

Uh-huh. :) Awh, hell yeah.

*

Let me tell you a little bit about how I did my World Issues News Report. As usual, I procrastinated.

I started over the holiday week; Monday, to be exact, and as I was researching stuff about Shahar Peer, I was...

...reading my online copy of The Girl Who Played with Fire.

...talking to lots of people; mostly President Farid, Alwy, Sarosh and Helen.

...harrassing Chewable over facebook, which is why I think facebook is awesome.

...getting harrassed back by Chewable, which made my time-wasting and procrastinating totally worth it.

...talking to Nick on the phone and planning our lepak-sessions at night.

...downloading stuff off Ares.

...watching completely pointless videos on youtube.

*

BUT.

I got it done, by about 1:30 (yes, in the morning), by Monday, the next week.

And I was so fucking nervous (you can't swear in World Issues, or you get penalized), that I didn't eat anything except half a peanut-butter-chocolate-marshmallow cookie that Hanisah gave me.

I sat outside class for about half-an-hour and talked to Hanson, who is so nice, but really quiet.

(And I was praying that Ameera wouldn't come).

Eventually, it was time for me to step up to the front of the class and face the gallows projector.

It was completely nerve-wracking (I like exaggerating a little bit), as I plugged Daddy's pendrive (because he stole mine) into the computer, with no sign of Ameera.

Hanson smiled. "You must be happy, she's not here."

I stood up there for about an hour and fifteen minutes, and I have no idea what I talked about; yeah, it's either I'm so full of shit that I can't remember, or that I was completely out of it, and couldn't remember anything, either.

*

But whatever, on with what happened the next day.

Blahblahblah, first two periods, then, World Issues quiz.

BANGBANGBANG.

Got up to leave, dropped off my paper with Ms. Nancy and she handed me my News Report rubric (yes, that is the picture up there).

I, being me, put it into my World Issues textbook, where I stuff everything for easy access. Went back to my seat, scribbled down the homework assignment, stood up to leave again, and shouted/whispered, "Thanks, Miss!" to Ms. Nancy.

She gave me a weird look, pointed to my textbook, shrugged and, when I shrugged back, in my, "Um, what?" way, she called me over.

Ms. Nancy: Did you look at it?

Me: Um, no? *sheepishly*

Ms. Nancy: Look at it! *smiles*

Me: Okay... *opens book, jaw drops open* Holy sh... Uh, I mean, thanks, Miss! Really. I, um, wow.

Ms. Nancy: Good job. *winks*

Me: *walks out of class, grinning from ear-to-ear and bouncing off the walls*

*

And that, my friends, was that. :)

Surprisingly, after my mid-term report, I'm scoring higher on World Issues than I am for English.

Maths, well, I'm getting there.

But I am HAPPY.

WAAAAAAUGH.

Thank you, Lacey Stone, for making me want to SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD.

*

Ask me why if you want to.

I'm not gonna explain here.

I don't care.

Okay, that's a huge lie.

Whatever.

Gonna sleep now; it's stupid o'clock.

--angels and demons.

Stephanie:
Aruna!
:D

Aruna:
STEPHANIEEE !!
:D
haha

Stephanie:
you so have to check out what I posted on *coughcoughcough*'s wall.

Aruna:
i dont have her as a friend
so how ?

Stephanie:
awh, shit
see if you can click on this link or something.

Aruna:
HAHHAH
omg shit funy
LMFAO

Stephanie:
I know right!!!
xD
Dude.
I don't wanna go on Monday.

Aruna:
i'll pray for you
shes gonna bite your head off

Stephanie:
and kick my ass so hard I'll shit through my mouth for one week, probably
o.O
what have I done?!

Aruna:
fuck hahahha
poor thing
you just had to tease the devil

Stephanie:
Her or me?!
I know, right, damn smart person I am.

Aruna:
her, hahahaah
your a geinus

Stephanie:
I know.
But then again, she probably won't be able to kill me
because god always beats the devil. :P

Aruna:
HAHAHAH
true true
but not when the devil is her

Stephanie:
but, if I push her off the building before she can get me...
...GAME OVER.
I win.

Aruna:
HAHAH ouchhh
but make sure its the third floor and not the first

Stephanie:
Oh, yeah.
btw, this is SO going on my blog
(without her name, of course)

Aruna:
HAHAH yess pls if not im gonna die on monday too
IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE !!!

Stephanie:
HAHAHA
Yeah! And I still have the message to spread!
...I don't know what message yet, but I'll find one.

Aruna:
HAHAHA
knowing you it wont even be a meaningful
message

Stephanie:
probably not. :D

Aruna:
it would be something like sex drugs for all

Stephanie:

No, it would be like, "Brush your teeth every day... and don't forget to bring your parents' copy for the Karma Sutra to school!"

Aruna:
hahahahahh
ya so true

*

FUCKING EPIC.

If I don't blog from Monday onwards... at least you know why now. :)

--I used to be open-minded, but my brains kept falling out.

Six years ago, I didn't really like myself. (There, I said it). Six years ago, I was this;

Six years ago, if you had told me that I'd have friends like these, who put my underwear on their heads, I would've said you were talking crap.

If you had told me that I'd grow up to have alcohol for breakfast, I'd say, "But I don't like alcohol."

If you had told me that I'd go for World Youth Day in Sydney, I would've told you, "But I don't want to go alone."

If you had told me that I'd go on-stage at a formal school function and sing a song about pornography, I'd have laughed and said, "That sounds like something I'll do... in my dreams!"

If you had said that Nick would become a huge part of my life again, I'd probably be indifferent, but how I love him, now.

If you had told me that I'd overcome my stage-fright and play my violin in front of actual, living, breathing people, I would die of fright.

If you told me that I'd actually finish my Art Project, I wouldn't say anything, I'd just laugh in your face.

If you'd told me that I'd wear a pair of beat-up, awesome Darth Vader Converse to school, I'd say that Converse sucked because I had to tie laces.

If you told me that Confirmation was just around the corner, I'd moan and groan and bitch about how I had to attend Sunday School.

If you had told me that I'd actually enjoy Science class, and go on to score an A in it for SPM, I would've given you an excuse about how I hated the Periodic Tables.

If you had said that I'd endure a journey of many hours, squashed in the back of a van, just to see my grandfather's old house, I'd tell you that I had better things to do with my life.

If you had told me that I'd drink more alcohol than I'd drink water, I wouldn't have wanted to talk to you ever again, because you would be a bad influence.

If you said I'd crash a buggy outside my dad's Fraser's Hill house, I'd say, "But my dad doesn't have a Fraser's Hill house!"

If you had said that I'd wear a baju kurung and the heaviest eye-makeup in the world to graduation, I would've said, "But odds are I'm not gonna graduate, anyway."

If you had said that I'd wear a dress and three-inch heels, with Kar Weng as my date, and dance like a maniac at Betchh's prom, I would've said that I don't do proms.

If you had said I'd finish school, only to sit down at MDM class every morning, I would've smacked you for cursing me that way.

And if you'd told me I'd smile a lot during MDM, I'd have smacked you even harder.

If you said I'd make out with Rafael Nadal in a shopping mall, I'd have told you, quite plainly, that it would be impossible.

If you told me I'd trade in my five years at Bukit Jalil to have one year in Sunway, I wouldn't have wanted to.

If you had said that I'd grow up to be even louder and more obnoxious than I already am, I would've claimed that it would be impossible.

But I did.

And I have.

And I am.

And things have never been better.

--and they were dating. 0.o

Alwy says:
back
He said like Alwy what r u doing here?
Stephanie [The worst piece of advice I've ever received; "Be sexy." But you are, so cute.] says:
then?
"Eating, duh. Sudah buta ke?"
Alwy says:
LOL close close
"I don't know, eating i guess?"
This is my wife insertpunjabinamehere
i was like WHAT>
Stephanie [The worst piece of advice I've ever received; "Be sexy." But you are, so cute.] says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

***
Alwy says:
no He sits beside me table and dates her
so after 5 minutes i just leave that place and went to carls junior
Stephanie [The worst piece of advice I've ever received; "Be sexy." But you are, so cute.] says:
OMG.
He was just sitting there and they were dating, in front of you!
that is so traumatizing!
Alwy says:
LOL!!!
but his wife looks young u know
(or is it my eyes i don't know)
I thought she was waiting for her boyfriend or smthg then suddenly Mr. English came =_=
Stephanie [The worst piece of advice I've ever received; "Be sexy." But you are, so cute.] says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay, it's official. In English class, I sit next to the funniest Indonesian guy, ever.

--replay.

That girl, like something of a poster,

That girl is a dime, they say,

That girl is a gun to my holster,

She's running through my mind all day.

...

Doing things I never do,

I'm in the kitchen cooking things she likes,

We're real worldwide, breaking all the rules,

Someday I wanna make you my wife.

...

Shawty's like a melody in my head,

That I can't keep out, got me singing like,

Na na na na, everyday,

Like my iPod's stuck on replay.

:)

So cute, right?

--placebo!

Guess what, bitches?

Since daddy still owes me an outing...

...we're gonna go watch Placebo live in KL!

Yes, be very jealous, because my daddy is the awesomest daddy ever.

He used to listen to Placebo ages ago, when I was about a foot tall.

And yeah, I've been on a huge Placebo kick.

Protege-Moi is one of the most awesome songs, ever.

It's fucking e p i c, okay. :)

***

C'est le malaise du moment,
L'épidémie qui s'étend,
La fête est finie on descend,
Les pensées qui glaces la raison,
Paupières baissées, visage gris,
Surgissent les fantômes de notre lit,
On ouvre le loquet de la grille,
Du taudit qu'on appelle maison.

It is the uneasiness of the moment
The epidemic that spreads
The feast is finished one descends
The thoughts that freezes the reason
Fallen lids, gray face
Emerge the ghosts of our bed
One opens the latch of the grid
Of the hole that one calls home.

Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me form what I want
Protect me
Protect me.
Protège-moi, protège-moi {x4}.

Sommes nous les jouets du destin
Souviens toi des moments divins
Planants, éclatés au matin
Et maintenant nous sommes tout seul
Perdus les rêves de s'aimer
Le temps où on avait rien fait
Il nous reste toute une vie pour pleurer
Et maintenant nous sommes tout seul.

We're the puppets of destiny
Remember the divine moments
Hovering, exploded to the morning
And now we are all alone
Lost the dreams to like itself/themselves
The time where one had anything makes
We have a whole life to cry
And now we are all alone.

Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me
Protect me from what I want (Protège-moi, protège-moi)
Protect me from what I want (Protège-moi, protège-moi)
Protect me from what I want (Protège-moi, protège-moi)
Protect me
Protect me
Protège-moi, protège-moi {x2}
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me
{x3}
Protect me
Protect me, protège-moi.

--i keep hearing that karma is a bitch, but i don't know what she looks like.

My day yesterday was awesome. And I don't mean to brag, because, well, CIMP has some pretty amazing people in it. Imagine if I was stuck doing stuff like A-Levels for like, a year and a half. I swear, my brain would be fried, and every single day, I'd probably look at myself in the mirror and go, "Just give me a rope."
Sweet dreams are made of these,
Who am I to disagree?
Okay, so MDM class went as usual, with me sitting there, getting bullied by Keith, who gets it paid back in full by Mina every Wednesday at dance class (okay, so maybe she's got one good thing going on, right?). She slapped him last Wednesday, but he deserved it. Awh, Keith, you know I'm kidding and I love you very much. You're my favorite. :)
I came here to make you dance tonight,
And I don't care about my guilty pleasure for you...
...So cynical,
Poor baby; I can dish it cause I know how to take it,
You're never gonna win em all,
So fuck 'em if they can't take a joke,
I'm just playing.
Blahblahblah, break and I walked around like a headless chicken, trying to decide what to eat. I can't remember what I ate -- I think it was a chicken and cheese Hot Roll (I know, right, my life is so exciting). Sat with Aina over period 2, whom I also love very much, because she is like whoa! creative and read her essay, which was a brilliant take on religion. You know what? Today she brought Keith's hula skirt and I swear, it was so cute; I wanted to wear it the whole day. But then Chewable might not have thought it was very sexy.
There's blood spilled on the floor,
Everyone's staring at you; what for?
Till you realize that the blood is probably yours...
...Will you feel sorry for what you've done?
Will you put down your gun?
After that, World Issues. Hung out outside class, found out that Ms. Nancy knows only one phrase in BM, gave Ameera the grape Mentos I owed her for filling in our MDM ISU form. Watched the last part of War Made Easy and then Ameera did her presentation about freedom of speech. I had no idea I was the only one who knew what the people waving the rainbow-colored flag were. I mean. Dude. Isn't it obvious? Gay, la, duh. Anyway, I really enjoyed her presentation, it made me think, which isn't something I like to do very often, but it's okay, once in a while.
And I can't believe in nothing, or anyone,
That I can't see,
You know it's better than it's ever been,
And that's good enough for me.
Ran off to English after that, got harrassed by Cedric, who said I was late (but I wasn't). Chewable. Smile, swoon, giggle, pretend to concentrate, get smiled and winked at again, repeat process. Oh, what a happy day. Actually, every last period is a good one for me. :) Stef and I teamed up for English, again. She's awesome, too. Mani switched classes, so we can't tease him anymore (oh, oh, he has green eyes, I actually asked him what color they were and told him how pretty they are), but Jin Soo and Alwy are still there. Big Korean boy and medium-sized Chinese-Indonesian boy. Mr. Warren did accents, which had Cedric doing accents till even after class. *rolls eyes*
Flew home, back to where we met,
Stayed inside, I was so upset,
Cooked up a plan, so good except,
I was all alone, you were all I had.
Class finished, got my ISU form from (hah, that's kinda funny) Mina, went downstairs and gave Choon Kit his ISU form. Met up with Helen and Alyzza and Sarosh and Aruna eventually. We saw Sarosh's Genghis Khan people banging away on their drums. I think I'm still deaf in one ear. It sounded like a stripper song. Heh. Then, Helen left and we went into the ISO to play foosball and sit around. Aruna and Sarosh beat Alyzza and I, so congrats to them. :) We'll get them next time! The people playing table-tennis were really careless, so I might've... mentioned some stuff to them, but oh well, it's not like they know my parents, right?
You meant to make me happy, make me sad,
Want to make it better, better so bad,
But save your resolutions for another new year,
There is only one solution I can see here.
By the way, Alyzza is completely fucking awesome, I tell you. Hanging out with her pretty much made my day. She's like the poster-child for perverts everywhere, and it's so kinky -- how can you not love it? We teased Sarosh about his man-boobs. He practically got mentally-raped by the three of us (yes, Aruna, you're considered an accomplice) and eventually (actually, just as it was about to start), we left for the OSSLT talk-thingy-whatever. Needless to say, we got there late (blame it on the foosball) and there was no place to sit. Samar and Fahmi were there, too. Samar is fanfuckingtastic, okay. She's like, this Queen-Latifah-esque diva. It's fabulous.
My chick can have whatever she wants,
Go in the store, buy anything she wants,
And know you ain't never had a man like that,
Buy you anything your heart desire like that.
Anyway, the classroom was packed, and we had to stand at the back like a bunch of people on board the Titanic, and Sarosh and I immediately started singing the theme song. Aruna was like, "Okay, I don't know you!", which actually made us want to sing even louder, but because we love her, we didn't. Scary-eyes-girl was there, asking stupid questions all the way and wasting our time. We left the first chance we got.
It's in the way that you fool everyone,
When you're falling in love again,
So tell me how this ends.
'Cause no one knows you like I do,
They don't see you like I do, baby,
They'll try to, but if only they knew,
They'll never come close to...
And you brighten up the world with your eyes,
And you're so damn lonely when you're on my mind,
'Cause you're the only one, you.
Went back to the ISO, stood around for a while before deciding to play pool. Here's where it gets fun. Sarosh handed his pool cue to Alyzza, who promptly poked herself in the eye with it. I swear, it went something like this:
Sarosh: Alyzza, it's easy, I'll show you! *gives her pool cue*
Alyzza: I suck at it!
Sarosh: Just try.
Alyzza: Okay, okay...
And we all turned around, waiting for Alyzza to shoot, then we heard this thump and an, "OW!" When we turned around, Alyzza was there, clutching her eye, the pool cue on the floor, alone. Of course, I felt sorry for her, since she's such an awesome, perverted person and all, but it was just so funny. She got a can of Soya Bean and stuck it to her eye. I swear, I couldn't shoot straight after that; I was giggling so hard!
Cause you give me the electric twist,
And it kicks and it kicks like a pony,
And true, you might run away with it,
It's a risk, it's a risk, yeah,
Because it kicks, yeah,
It really kicks, yeah,
And the touch of your lips; it's a shock not a kiss,
It's electric twist, it's electric twist.
Then I had to leave. Ugh. Gave my pool cue to Farid, Mr. CIMP prez (who won, by the way -- Malaysians totally PWN Pakistanis xD). Left, went home, collapsed on my bed, got up, went for dinner, which was totally awesome. Couscous and every dinner should come with shisha. Authentic, Iranian shisha. :) Iranians are dead sexy, okay. Smoked out to cherry flavor and bought a bowl to smoke back home. Yes, it was more expensive, but it tasted better. Might've been because of the company I was with, but... yeah, good food, good shisha, good people. I liked dinner, I loved the company.
Pink, it was love at first sight,
Pink, when I turn out the light,
Pink, gets me high as a kite,
And I think everything is going to be alright,
No matter what we do tonight...
I want to be your lover,
I wanna wrap you in rubber,
As pink as the sheets that we lay on,
Pink is my favorite crayon.
Got a text later, but whatever, I'm in a good mood, so I won't spoil it. :) Oh, and Alwy Christo quoted me on facebook. I swear, I have the most awesome people in my English class. Even Jin Soo is really funny. His Korean accent is so cute! I don't get why Koreans have to talk like that -- it's so laid back and gentle. Speaking of languages, we all got a lecture from Sarosh on how to say, "Hindu." Apparently, you say it like this, in Pakistan;

"Hin-thoo."

But Helen, Aruna, Sabrina, Alyzza and I say it like this;

"Hin-DU."

as do all Malaysians.

Okay, yeah, that was our lesson plan for today. Class is OUT. :)

--mayo and mentos.

ARUNA: I want the chicken and cheese, but I don't like mayonnaise.
STEPH: So just tell them not to put, la.
ARUNA: You can do that?!
STEPH: Um, yeah!
ARUNA and STEPH: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HOT-ROLL KAKAK: *looks at Helen*
HELEN: *shrugs at Hot-Roll Kakak*
ARUNA and STEPH: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*

Oh, and this is completely random, but you know what?

You have some of my English homework.

And most of my Mentos that Helen and Najwa say tastes like medicine.

And, very possibly, my heart.

:)

*

OH, OH, OH.

And, Sarosh and Mana -- CELAKA! ;)

(yes, very random, I know)

*

AND.

Mel, Aina and Aruna are joining SALSA the week after next.

That's, like, half of Dairy Products (which is the very cool name of our band -- I dare you to disagree).

So yeah.

I haz a happee.

OKBAI. :)

--yeah, well...

You know what? Fuck you, too!
You have no right to say what you did about me, because you don't even have the slightest idea what's going on inside my head.
I'm perfectly fine, but bitches, you need mental help.
I never said anything about you. You're probably so fucking full of yourself that you assumed that it was about you.
Get yourselves a brain!
So, I know, you might hate me for those comments. And you might call me a fuck, say I'm full of bullshit, blahblahblah, whatever whiny shit goes through your head at times like these.
I swear, I don't even know anymore (you're fucking insane, by the way; so fucking get help).
I never said anything in the first place, so watch your tone. You never know what might come back and bite you in the ass.
Don't say I know nothing about family. I know a hell of a lot more than you. I wasn't the one sitting there, pretending not to know anyone and ignoring my own grandmother.
So, fuck you. Lots and lots and lots.
I tried. I promised her I'd try, and I did. I came there, sat next to you and fucking tried to make small talk. And she knows it.
The next thing I know, you're claiming I said shit about you. Which is utter rubbish. I'm sorry, but you're not a very big part of my life, and therefore, I just don't talk about you.
So you know what? Fuck you.
And I would really advise you to think before confronting me. Because, y'know, I actually finished school.
Not to mention, I heard so much shit about you for the past couple of years, and not only did I deny it, but I stuck up for you. It's so stupid that you hear one thing about me and you believe it.
But hey, as Amelie would say, c'est la vie.
And fuck you very much; stay the fuck away from me and out of my life.
Kaythxbai.

--little romance.

Can I have the last chance,

To be your little romance,

Can I have the last dance,

I'm in the mood for love.

.

If it's the only chance I get,

If it's the only chance then get,

Ready to throw your shoes away,

For I will sweep sweep sweep,

You off your feet,

For I will sweep sweep sweep,

To be your little romance.

.

I'm in the mood for you,

You're in the mood for me,

We're in the mood for love.

...just in case you didn't know.

I love anything by Ingrid Michaelson.

.

Um, okay, what else is new?

I saw Chewable today and I swear, Chewable was just so... Chewable.

And Chewable came over to see me, before I went over, so that's pretty cool.

(Maybe I should stay back later in English class more).

Apart from that, we have Grandma staying with us for the week.

Yesterday, she nagged me about my pajama pants, which, according to her, were too low and showing off my bright-orange knickers.

But it's okay, it's all love, all love, baby. :)

Anyway, more eventually, I'm exhausted and my bed calls.

(Was falling asleep in MDM, sorry, Ms. Chia).