Yesterday, Nick, Naz and I went to this family dinner thing. Actually, I kinda dragged Naz along (yes, yes, I knew it would be awkward with Leann, but whatever) because I knew we could get bored. And we did, so the three of us sat at a table away from the old people and the babies (haha) and were talking tennis. Naz and I play doubles sometimes, so Nick decided to quiz us on each other. We seriously had nothing better to do. It went something like this:
These are Naz's answers:
Biggest pet peeve:
Being late! But Steph is so laid back and easy-going, not too many things bother her. I would be totally guessing on this one.
Nervous habit:
I bite my nails. Steph moves around a lot, can't sit still, goes off on her own.
If we had to live on an island and could take three things, they would be:
I would take my phone, my computer, and politics magazines. Steph would take phone, sunnies, and a surfboard.
Favorite pre-match activity:
For me, it's texting. I know, I am not proud of it! Steph hits volleys against a wall and eats power bars.
Favorite thing to watch on TV:
I love all politics and world news, Law and Order, sports and Family Guy. Steph likes Family Guy, Friends, The Cho Show and The Simpsons.
Least favorite player:
For me, it's Schnyder. For Steph, I don't think she has one yet. Maybe me?
Most embarrassing tennis moment:
I honestly don't have one. For Steph, it's losing to S. Neesha 6-0 6-0 in PJ last year. Sorry to bring that back up Stephie...
First person to call after a match:
My sister or mum. For Steph, it's friends, either Carmen or Mel. She usually sends a text message to someone.
Favorite tournament:
For me, Aussie Open. For Steph, Wimbledon.
I occasionally annoy Steph by doing this:
I always remind her to "Make sure you get the schedule before you leave." I am a control freak so I always end up getting it first, booking courts, etc., even if I ask her to do it as well.
The one thing we don't agree on is this:
Our favorite cities. Mine is Brighton, hers is either Athens in Greece or Gold Coast in Australia.
If you weren't playing tennis, you would be a:
Steph would be some sort of musician, maybe a hip-hop artist. *laughs* I'm kidding. Me, I would be in the FBI or opening my own law firm. And maybe I still will!
These are Steph's answers:
Biggest pet peeve:
Talk during movies. I also hate homophobia. For Naz, it's people being late.
Nervous habit:
I stop talking. For Naz, it's when Naz tells me, "It's okay.", especially when I'm missing balls.
If we had to live on an island and could take three things, they would be:
Phone, sunblock, music. For Naz, phone, phone charger, food.
Favorite pre-match activity:
For me, volleys on a wall and banana-flavored power bars. Naz doesn't have one that I've noticed, except talking on the phone.
Favorite thing to watch on TV:
I like "Family Guy", "Friends" and "Capadocia". For Naz, it's now "Family Guy because I made Naz watch it!
Least favorite player:
Flavia Pennetta. For Naz, it's Patty Schnyder.
Most embarrassing tennis moment:
Can't think of one, maybe I erased them all from my memory! *laughs* I have no idea for Naz. Maybe the day when Naz's shorts split?
First person to call after a match:
I don't call anyone in particular, it depends on the day. Naz's mum and sister.
Favorite tournament:
Wimbledon! For Naz, it's the Aussie Open.
I occasionally annoy Naz by doing this:
Not talking, not expressing my feelings or not making a decision.
The one thing we don't agree on is this:
Hard to say, maybe tipping.
If you weren't playing tennis, you would would be a:
Comedienne or in a band. Naz would be a criminal detective, a lawyer or a forensic psychologist. Maybe work for the FBI.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
.twilight!
Managed to catch Twilight with Kitty Kat yesterday! Edward wasn't hot at all! Plus, Bella looked like a man from some angles. More so than Amelie! Phew, that jawline, bleh. Characters who really stood out were Esme (Elizabeth Reaser), Alice (Ashley Greene) and of course, the ever-hot Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) even though he had long hair. 
Ashley Greene, who plays Alice. Kinda weird, but funny.
Elizabeth Reaser, who plays Esme (I saw her in Puccini for Beginners). The kitchen scene was effing hilarious.
And my personal sun, Taylor Lautner (Jacob Black). What can I say -- check out the body on that boy!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
--totally, undeniably out of my head.
You're _____'s, but I know you loves me, too.
No. Not in the same way.
Maybe not. But the strength of the love is the same, if not the sort.
Strength can be damned overrated.
I'm as close to you as _____ is, if not, closer. I'd do anything to be your world.
It’s not your world I’m looking to conquer. Right now, that doesn’t matter.
You're willing to let me change you, you trust me enough to let me change you. Clearly, it matters to you.
I close my eyes and wonder if my head could ever lie as well as my heart.
I need to stop talking to myself.
You should probably just ignore this.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Love Songs
Love Songs
I can never write a love song,
I can never write a blues song,
When I'm in love I am a lover,
But I have always had the blues.
Guess what, people. I know you all think that Dirtnote sucks balls and everything – as if we give a shit what you think, anyway – but we totally kicked ass at our gig tonight. The crowd was pretty sweet, a few of them even knew a couple of songs and sang along! After we finished doing What I Feel, Naz and I had a little bit of a conversation on-stage, that went something like this:
ME: *overwhelmed that people actually know the lyrics* Jesus, I love you guys. You’re such an awesome crowd to play for – so nice and appreciative!
NAZ: *looks at the crowd* So, who wants to go home with Steph tonight?
ME: *apologetically* Nah, sorry, I can’t do that. I still live with my parents. *crowd laughs* I know, that sucks. Parents… Bleh. But in two years, hell, three, nine, fifteen of you can come home with me! Just hang in there.
We were pretty funny, and I’d like to say we provided some good entertainment. They should give us a Grammy already! Underground gigs are so much fun, but we had to get home early, since Mr. SexyShirtlessDrummer *coughs* is sitting for his SPM, so we ended about 10:30. Still, really good fun, and I loved the crowd, since they loved me.
I am afraid that no one sees me,
What will they say when I am gone,
It occurs to me I think I miss you,
I think I missed you all along.
The Bukit Bintang people are seriously awesome. I mean, they came for our gig, they stood in the goddamn rain for two hours just to listen to us amateurs play music, albeit really, really, really good music, if I may say so myself. And what’s more, some of them had seen us doing those stupid 45-minute sets in PLU and other places (which is how they knew our songs, duh) and at the end, after the encore (oh, oh, we did this one by Jimmy Eat World called Carry You and it was actually okay!) they came right in front of the stage and went:
PEOPLE: *yelling, kinda* We love Dirtnote!
ME: *looks at Naz, freaked out (I mean, these people were in the rain. I so wouldn’t do that, unless it was Amelie or something)* Uhm, thanks? We love you, too. Loads.
RANDOM CROWD OF PEOPLE: (I think they were joking) We wanna have your babies!
NAZ: *laughs (totally unhelpful)* You do?
ME: *grabs Naz* You know, we’re gonna have to think about that. ‘Kay, thanks, bye!
NICK: *pokes me with his drumstick (this wasn’t over the mic)* Say it nicely…
ME: Naz has something to say!
Then Naz kinda had to close down the show, but it was okay. I was freaked out by the sudden fan-dom. One thing I’ve learned from this – I should never be a celebrity.
Out of the corner of my eye,
Not sure if I should think these things of you,
It’s at the wrong place in the wrong time,
I think it’s just my turn to lose.
Anyway, that’s quite enough gushing about how insanely fucking brilliant my band is. Let’s talk about the day before that, Tuesday, that is 18.1.2008. I was in The Star newspaper – front page, if you can spot me, I’ll buy you an ice-cream from McDonald’s. This was during Roger Federer’s meet and greet session. I can’t tell you how much this has affected me, now it’s like; I really need to see Amelie. The world could end the next day as long as I’d seen her run around the court, her hair flying as she hits one-handed backhands into the face of Maria Sharapova and ruins her modeling career (cue sigh from blogger). I mean, come on, I’ve been following Amelie’s progress since late 2006, where everyone was like, “Yeah, yeah, we know Steph has ADD, this will pass.” And I thought it did, until I saw her playing Eleni Daniilidou in her purple tennis dress in 2007, and that was it for me, seriously, no shit, kill Elizabitch Hasselback. Not even Dinara Safina, who, yes, is winning, and yes, is 6”1’ compared to Amelie’s 5”9’, and yes, has a brother who plays tennis, can compare to the likes of my Amazonian blonde Frenchwoman who does not know what the word “buoy” means in English. Complete hotness, indeed.
But thoughts of you could give me smile lines,
I laughed myself to sleep because I knew
We were talking about a fine line,
It depends on who you’re talking to.
In case I forgot to mention earlier, and I just re-read this post, and yes, I forgot to mention, these lyrics are from a Dirtnote song, cause I’m so goddamned proud of my band. I’ll have you all know that I wanted to call it “The Amelie Song, #14” (yes, we really do have fourteen songs about Amelie – more than that, in fact), but Nick and Naz nearly killed me with a pink plastic fork from Ikea (they are such girls) when I suggested it, and since I value my life, I agreed to stick to the safe, somewhat boring title of Love Songs, hoping that Sara Bareilles (and the millions of other recording artists who have songs called Love Songs) doesn’t sue us. Anyway, next gig is hopefully next week, I need the cash for Christmas shopping and spoiling myself rotten by buying myself… *drumroll* a new violin! Or if that doesn’t work out, I’ll have to settle for new strings, which aren’t cheap, either. Thank Ellen DeGeneres that dad pays for them. Plus, my violin needs a little maintenance work. Okay, I’m tired. Post ends right about… here.
If it’s any consolation,
The blues have always had me too,
And if I ever write a love song,
I think I’ll write it about you.
xx,
Steph
I can never write a love song,
I can never write a blues song,
When I'm in love I am a lover,
But I have always had the blues.
Guess what, people. I know you all think that Dirtnote sucks balls and everything – as if we give a shit what you think, anyway – but we totally kicked ass at our gig tonight. The crowd was pretty sweet, a few of them even knew a couple of songs and sang along! After we finished doing What I Feel, Naz and I had a little bit of a conversation on-stage, that went something like this:
ME: *overwhelmed that people actually know the lyrics* Jesus, I love you guys. You’re such an awesome crowd to play for – so nice and appreciative!
NAZ: *looks at the crowd* So, who wants to go home with Steph tonight?
ME: *apologetically* Nah, sorry, I can’t do that. I still live with my parents. *crowd laughs* I know, that sucks. Parents… Bleh. But in two years, hell, three, nine, fifteen of you can come home with me! Just hang in there.
We were pretty funny, and I’d like to say we provided some good entertainment. They should give us a Grammy already! Underground gigs are so much fun, but we had to get home early, since Mr. SexyShirtlessDrummer *coughs* is sitting for his SPM, so we ended about 10:30. Still, really good fun, and I loved the crowd, since they loved me.
I am afraid that no one sees me,
What will they say when I am gone,
It occurs to me I think I miss you,
I think I missed you all along.
The Bukit Bintang people are seriously awesome. I mean, they came for our gig, they stood in the goddamn rain for two hours just to listen to us amateurs play music, albeit really, really, really good music, if I may say so myself. And what’s more, some of them had seen us doing those stupid 45-minute sets in PLU and other places (which is how they knew our songs, duh) and at the end, after the encore (oh, oh, we did this one by Jimmy Eat World called Carry You and it was actually okay!) they came right in front of the stage and went:
PEOPLE: *yelling, kinda* We love Dirtnote!
ME: *looks at Naz, freaked out (I mean, these people were in the rain. I so wouldn’t do that, unless it was Amelie or something)* Uhm, thanks? We love you, too. Loads.
RANDOM CROWD OF PEOPLE: (I think they were joking) We wanna have your babies!
NAZ: *laughs (totally unhelpful)* You do?
ME: *grabs Naz* You know, we’re gonna have to think about that. ‘Kay, thanks, bye!
NICK: *pokes me with his drumstick (this wasn’t over the mic)* Say it nicely…
ME: Naz has something to say!
Then Naz kinda had to close down the show, but it was okay. I was freaked out by the sudden fan-dom. One thing I’ve learned from this – I should never be a celebrity.
Out of the corner of my eye,
Not sure if I should think these things of you,
It’s at the wrong place in the wrong time,
I think it’s just my turn to lose.
Anyway, that’s quite enough gushing about how insanely fucking brilliant my band is. Let’s talk about the day before that, Tuesday, that is 18.1.2008. I was in The Star newspaper – front page, if you can spot me, I’ll buy you an ice-cream from McDonald’s. This was during Roger Federer’s meet and greet session. I can’t tell you how much this has affected me, now it’s like; I really need to see Amelie. The world could end the next day as long as I’d seen her run around the court, her hair flying as she hits one-handed backhands into the face of Maria Sharapova and ruins her modeling career (cue sigh from blogger). I mean, come on, I’ve been following Amelie’s progress since late 2006, where everyone was like, “Yeah, yeah, we know Steph has ADD, this will pass.” And I thought it did, until I saw her playing Eleni Daniilidou in her purple tennis dress in 2007, and that was it for me, seriously, no shit, kill Elizabitch Hasselback. Not even Dinara Safina, who, yes, is winning, and yes, is 6”1’ compared to Amelie’s 5”9’, and yes, has a brother who plays tennis, can compare to the likes of my Amazonian blonde Frenchwoman who does not know what the word “buoy” means in English. Complete hotness, indeed.
But thoughts of you could give me smile lines,
I laughed myself to sleep because I knew
We were talking about a fine line,
It depends on who you’re talking to.
In case I forgot to mention earlier, and I just re-read this post, and yes, I forgot to mention, these lyrics are from a Dirtnote song, cause I’m so goddamned proud of my band. I’ll have you all know that I wanted to call it “The Amelie Song, #14” (yes, we really do have fourteen songs about Amelie – more than that, in fact), but Nick and Naz nearly killed me with a pink plastic fork from Ikea (they are such girls) when I suggested it, and since I value my life, I agreed to stick to the safe, somewhat boring title of Love Songs, hoping that Sara Bareilles (and the millions of other recording artists who have songs called Love Songs) doesn’t sue us. Anyway, next gig is hopefully next week, I need the cash for Christmas shopping and spoiling myself rotten by buying myself… *drumroll* a new violin! Or if that doesn’t work out, I’ll have to settle for new strings, which aren’t cheap, either. Thank Ellen DeGeneres that dad pays for them. Plus, my violin needs a little maintenance work. Okay, I’m tired. Post ends right about… here.
If it’s any consolation,
The blues have always had me too,
And if I ever write a love song,
I think I’ll write it about you.
xx,
Steph
Monday, November 17, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
How to be Dead
How to be Dead
Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth,
No you don't know what happened,
And you never will,
If you don't listen to me while I talk to the wall,
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall,
Where you've had me for hours,
Till I'm sure what I want,
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before,
So sweetheart tell me whats up,
I won't stop,
No way.
Well, you guys heard Helen on the cbox. No worries, I'm here updating, as I should. As you all probably know, the holidays have started and more than anything, I'm looking forward to chilling out with my girls and basically having fun and making the days go by as quick as possible. I'm not sure how I feel about the holidays. On one hand, I want it to go by really fast, seeing as Amelie will start playing again next year. On the other hand, we all know what I've got looming in front of me next year. Yeah, it's the dreaded SPM. Look at me, do I seriously look like I'm prepared to sit for the most important exam in my life? Come on, this is me. I spent the whole year in 4 Gemilang fucking around with Amy, Arif and Fida. I didn't pay attention to pretty mych anything and Amy and I would gossip every day about Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner and all those other hot guys. Then I'd come home and text Helen about Amelie. Not to mention all those nights I stayed up late, those two weeks where I was off in Australia and those times I said I was "sick" so I wouldn't have to go to to school. But hey, I'm sixteen!
Please keep your hands down,
And stop raising your voice,
It's hardly what I'd be doing, if you gave me a choice,
It's a simple suggestion,
Can you give me some time,
So just say yes or no, why can't you shoulder the blame?
Cause both my shoulders are heavy from the weight of us both,
You're a big boy now,
So lets not talk about growth,
You've not heard a single word I have said,
Oh My God.
Anyway, I've had the time of my life this year. I mean, seriously. It doesn't get any better than 4 Gemilang. And this year? All the stuff we got up to? The best part of the year, I have to say, was sitting up late with Naz, playing guitar and hoping for Amelie to win. Really, I love that woman. She never fails to amaze me with what she has to say. Even is she does say, "AnimAls." Amelie says the best looking guys on the ATP tour are Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Svetlana, Amelie's doubles partner, says they're Marat Safin and Rafael Nadal. Oh, and here's a totally random conversation which just took place.
NAZ: Steph, you could make Jesus blush.
ME: I know. Hey, you excited about tomorrow night?
NAZ: Yeah. Oh, hey, open up and try one of my delicious brownies!
ME: *brownie gets stupped into my mouth* I love... *coughs* these brownies... *cough* What they hell was that, are you on drugs?
NAZ: I sure hope not.
Please take it easy,
It can't all be my fault,
I havn't made half the mistakes that you've listed so far,
Baby let me explain something, it's all down to drugs,
At least I remember taking them,
And not a lot else,
It seems I've stepped over lines you've drawn again and again,
But if the ecstacy's in, the wit is definitely out,
Dr Jekyll is wrestling Hyde,
For my pride.
Steph
Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth,
No you don't know what happened,
And you never will,
If you don't listen to me while I talk to the wall,
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall,
Where you've had me for hours,
Till I'm sure what I want,
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before,
So sweetheart tell me whats up,
I won't stop,
No way.
Well, you guys heard Helen on the cbox. No worries, I'm here updating, as I should. As you all probably know, the holidays have started and more than anything, I'm looking forward to chilling out with my girls and basically having fun and making the days go by as quick as possible. I'm not sure how I feel about the holidays. On one hand, I want it to go by really fast, seeing as Amelie will start playing again next year. On the other hand, we all know what I've got looming in front of me next year. Yeah, it's the dreaded SPM. Look at me, do I seriously look like I'm prepared to sit for the most important exam in my life? Come on, this is me. I spent the whole year in 4 Gemilang fucking around with Amy, Arif and Fida. I didn't pay attention to pretty mych anything and Amy and I would gossip every day about Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner and all those other hot guys. Then I'd come home and text Helen about Amelie. Not to mention all those nights I stayed up late, those two weeks where I was off in Australia and those times I said I was "sick" so I wouldn't have to go to to school. But hey, I'm sixteen!
Please keep your hands down,
And stop raising your voice,
It's hardly what I'd be doing, if you gave me a choice,
It's a simple suggestion,
Can you give me some time,
So just say yes or no, why can't you shoulder the blame?
Cause both my shoulders are heavy from the weight of us both,
You're a big boy now,
So lets not talk about growth,
You've not heard a single word I have said,
Oh My God.
Anyway, I've had the time of my life this year. I mean, seriously. It doesn't get any better than 4 Gemilang. And this year? All the stuff we got up to? The best part of the year, I have to say, was sitting up late with Naz, playing guitar and hoping for Amelie to win. Really, I love that woman. She never fails to amaze me with what she has to say. Even is she does say, "AnimAls." Amelie says the best looking guys on the ATP tour are Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Svetlana, Amelie's doubles partner, says they're Marat Safin and Rafael Nadal. Oh, and here's a totally random conversation which just took place.
NAZ: Steph, you could make Jesus blush.
ME: I know. Hey, you excited about tomorrow night?
NAZ: Yeah. Oh, hey, open up and try one of my delicious brownies!
ME: *brownie gets stupped into my mouth* I love... *coughs* these brownies... *cough* What they hell was that, are you on drugs?
NAZ: I sure hope not.
Please take it easy,
It can't all be my fault,
I havn't made half the mistakes that you've listed so far,
Baby let me explain something, it's all down to drugs,
At least I remember taking them,
And not a lot else,
It seems I've stepped over lines you've drawn again and again,
But if the ecstacy's in, the wit is definitely out,
Dr Jekyll is wrestling Hyde,
For my pride.
Steph
Saturday, November 01, 2008
...depressed?
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION IN TEENS
1. Sadness or hopelessness
2. Irritability, anger, or hostility
3. Tearfulness or frequent crying
4. Withdrawal from friends and family
5. Loss of interest in activities
6. Changes in eating and sleeping habits
7. Restlessness and agitation
8. Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
9. Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
10. Fatigue or lack of energy
11. Difficulty concentrating
12. Thoughts of death or suicide
13. Unexplained aches and pains
14. A downward trend in performance at school or college
15. Destructive and/or defiant behavior
16. Hallucinations or unusual beliefs
17. Appetite or weight has changed considerably (has lost or gained a substantial amount of weight)
18. May appear restless, agitated (pacing, wringing hands) or has slowed down (e.g., spends hours staring in front, finds it hard to move)
19. Has lost a lot of energy, complains of feeling tired all the time
20. Complaints of feeling guilty or worthless ('everything is my fault', 'I am bad')
21. Belief that life is not worth living
1. Sadness or hopelessness
2. Irritability, anger, or hostility
3. Tearfulness or frequent crying
4. Withdrawal from friends and family
5. Loss of interest in activities
6. Changes in eating and sleeping habits
7. Restlessness and agitation
8. Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
9. Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
10. Fatigue or lack of energy
11. Difficulty concentrating
12. Thoughts of death or suicide
13. Unexplained aches and pains
14. A downward trend in performance at school or college
15. Destructive and/or defiant behavior
16. Hallucinations or unusual beliefs
17. Appetite or weight has changed considerably (has lost or gained a substantial amount of weight)
18. May appear restless, agitated (pacing, wringing hands) or has slowed down (e.g., spends hours staring in front, finds it hard to move)
19. Has lost a lot of energy, complains of feeling tired all the time
20. Complaints of feeling guilty or worthless ('everything is my fault', 'I am bad')
21. Belief that life is not worth living
Well, that's twelve out of twenty-one, people. Whatever. You decide. After all, my parents did, didn't they?
Thank Ellen DeGeneres for my friends, -- Helen, Carin, Nazis, etc. You guys are the only people keeping me sane. And I fucking appreciate that.
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