...Oh, Amelie. I wish I knew how to quit you.
So adorable. How not to love, you tell me.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
.this is not a poem.
Fuck. I am so shitting sick of this.
Why'd you have to go and screw it up?
Remember when we were so close?
It was just you. And me. Only.
I liked being the only one there, with you.
I trusted you.
I told you things I'd never told anyone before.
I liked being with you, going to church with you, riding around in your car.
Fucking asshole.
And I guess I had a crush on you.
You used it to your advantage and now, fuck.
I see you with her every single fucking time.
Yeah, it hurts me.
Because I trusted you so much.
And, as stupid as this sounds, I thought there was something there.
But there wasn't, obviously.
It was just one night of weakness, right?
Honestly, it doesn't matter now.
Because it hurts too much to see you two together.
And because I considered her a friend.
But you know what?
I'm smarter because of all of this.
And I hate you, you fucking bloody cheapo.
I don't know what I was thinking.
You're old.
And I don't want to be friends with you!
Why'd you have to go and screw it up?
Remember when we were so close?
It was just you. And me. Only.
I liked being the only one there, with you.
I trusted you.
I told you things I'd never told anyone before.
I liked being with you, going to church with you, riding around in your car.
Fucking asshole.
And I guess I had a crush on you.
You used it to your advantage and now, fuck.
I see you with her every single fucking time.
Yeah, it hurts me.
Because I trusted you so much.
And, as stupid as this sounds, I thought there was something there.
But there wasn't, obviously.
It was just one night of weakness, right?
Honestly, it doesn't matter now.
Because it hurts too much to see you two together.
And because I considered her a friend.
But you know what?
I'm smarter because of all of this.
And I hate you, you fucking bloody cheapo.
I don't know what I was thinking.
You're old.
And I don't want to be friends with you!
...fuck everyone, I have Coffee now.
whom I love very much, and am proud of.
*smiles*
Nobody can make me smile like that.
Well, maybe Amelie, lah.
*smirks*
Oh, oh. Coffee's quote about me:
"Why are all the adorable, charming ones absolutely insane?" *insert eye-roll*
Those bloody cheekbones, I tell you.
*dies*
I know it's so fucking cliche, and I hate being cliche, but...
thesocialreject♥thepsycho
(inside joke; you're the psycho, bitch.)
I wanna be your Svetlana Kuznetsova. :) and I have my happily ever fuck up after all.
"What does one say to the last beauty on the earth without sounding odd or perverted? Answer this and you will reach enlightenment, young swine!"
I think I'm losing it. But at least I'm happy, no?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
...me despido de ti
Porque no supiste entender a mi corazón,
Lo que había en él,
Porque no tuviste el valor,
De ver quién soy.
Lo que había en él,
Porque no tuviste el valor,
De ver quién soy.
Because you did not know how to understand my heart,
What was there in it,
Because you didn't have the courage,
To see who I am.
Porque no escuchas,
Lo que está tan cerca de ti,
Sólo el ruido de afuera,
Y yo, que estoy a un lado,
Desaparezco para ti.
Because you don't listen,
To what is so close to you,
Just the noise from outside,
And I, who is on the side,
Disappear for you.
No voy a llorar y decir,
Que no merezco esto porque,
Es probable que lo merezco,
Pero no lo quiero, por eso...
I am not going to cry and say,
That I do not deserve this because,
It's probable that I do deserve it,
But I do not want it, that's why...
Me voy, qué lástima pero adiós,
Me despido de ti y,
Me voy, qué lástima pero adiós,
Me despido de ti.
I leave, what a shame but goodbye,
I bid my farewell andI leave,
What a shame but goodbye,
I bid my farewell to you.
Porque sé que me espera algo mejor,
Alguien que sepa darme amor,
De ese que endulza la sal,
Y hace que salga el sol.
Because I know that something better waits for me,
Someone who knows how to give me love,
The kind that sweetens salt,
And makes the sun come out.
Yo que pensé, nunca me iría de ti,
Que es amor del bueno, de toda la vida
Pero hoy entendí que no es,
Suficiente para los dos.
Me who thought, I would never leave you,
That it was real love, lifelong love,
But today I understood that it isn't,
Enough for the two of us.
No voy a llorar y decir,
Que no merezco esto porque,
Es probable que lo merezco,
Pero no lo quiero, por eso...
I am not going to cry and say,
That I do not deserve this because,
It's probable that I do deserve it,
But I do not want it, that's why...
I want to get "Me despido de ti" tattooed on my foot. Thoughts?
...fallen seeds
The ladeez are as follows. It kinda breaks my heart to say this, but, oh, well. Fuck, though.
Kaia Kanepi (19), Iveta Benesova (32), Amelie Mauresmo (16), Patty Schnyder (17), Flavia Pennetta (14), Alisa Kleybanova (23) and Anna Chakvetadze (26). Oh, Chakky and Momo. *shakes head, cries a little*
The good news is that Ammanmuradova, who stole my BG board shorts, is through to the second round. Hellz yeah, maybe Amelie should start with the board shorts. *thinks, drools*
Sunday, May 24, 2009
...the red violin
Joshua Bell - The Red Violin pieces
It soothes me.
Amelie in a bit and I'm nervous.
I NEED A DRINK, Uncle Eddie!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
--wedding?
It's all I have to bring today,
This, and my heart beside,
This, and my heart, and all the fields,
And all the meadows wide,
Be sure you count, should I forget,
-Some one the sun could tell,
-This and my heart, and all the bees
Which in the clover dwell.
beautiful, no? remind me to say this at my wedding.
It's by Emily Dickinson
Monday, May 18, 2009
...are we gonna make it till monday?
Economy today.
I kinda screwed it (happily so) and wrote a song for Amelie.
(for when she comes next year, lah).
Then I wrote a poem for Coffee.
Three months, four days.
Then I tembak.
bangbangbang.
The songs I used to tembak:
Then, I copied. Thankew, Amy, for bringing notes. You rock.
Today's record: The Verve - Make It Till Monday
ohfuckmymother.
I almost forgot to tell you all the good news!
Wifey's now the world numbaaah... sixteen, yo!
please leave your conglatulations in the cbox.
thank you.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
--park your face.
AMANDA & ME: *in the middle of laughing our asses off*
AMANDA: Steph, Steph! Dorothyyyy! (inside joke, sorry. It's funny of you know what's going on)
ME: *snorts, then flat-out laughs*
JOELLE: *annoyed tone* You were made for each other!
AMANDA: Huh? What? We went for a charity?
ME: Amanda, what? *starts to laugh uncontrollably*
AMANDA: Really! What did Joelle say?
JOELLE: *shakes head* Don't even bother.
*
HELEN: *calls while I'm in violin* Eh, try and call Godma and wish her happy teacher's day.
ME: *whines* But whyyyyy?
SHOOK CHEENG: *holds up hand to ear like phone, imitates me with a big smile* But whyyyyy?
ME: *after hanging up* Eh, it wasn't my fault, okay?
SHOOK CHEENG: *smiles* Hm. Okay!
AMANDA: Steph, Steph! Dorothyyyy! (inside joke, sorry. It's funny of you know what's going on)
ME: *snorts, then flat-out laughs*
JOELLE: *annoyed tone* You were made for each other!
AMANDA: Huh? What? We went for a charity?
ME: Amanda, what? *starts to laugh uncontrollably*
AMANDA: Really! What did Joelle say?
JOELLE: *shakes head* Don't even bother.
*
HELEN: *calls while I'm in violin* Eh, try and call Godma and wish her happy teacher's day.
ME: *whines* But whyyyyy?
SHOOK CHEENG: *holds up hand to ear like phone, imitates me with a big smile* But whyyyyy?
ME: *after hanging up* Eh, it wasn't my fault, okay?
SHOOK CHEENG: *smiles* Hm. Okay!
//
Violin today was awesome! Shook Cheeng's smile is blardy cute, okay. It could even beat out Sarah's. What is it with people and braces?
Mkay. I like Carla Bruni now.
Currently listening to her Quelqu'un M'a Dit.
Give it a listen. The video freaks me out, though. But I guarantee you'll love.
.
Amelie lost. *sigh* But I love her anyway. She's so beautiful, how could I now?
S'okay. We'll just wait for RG, huh, Amelie?
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Sure Thing Falling
Sure Thing Falling
He likes vampires and hit list radio,
But turns it off when he hears this one song he knows,
And you breathe the windows down,
You're driving I-4 as you make your way back home,
You ride in silence because he will not let go,
And you breathe the windows down,
It's a new place that you have found.
Shoot me for this, but I've fallen in love with Yellowcard all over again. Violins, people, violins. Anyway, I'm here, sitting in Bangsar while Naz watches some weird random stuff on DVD. I think it's Tipping The Velvet or something. Hah, Naz, I've seen it before on youtube! So, here's the thing, people. I've got this random idea floating around in my head, and I've kind of been very very lazy to even try to put it down. It's kind of very complicated to write down and if I start writing again now, I know that I won't be able to stop and I'll screw up at the end of the year, just like PMR, where I didn't study at all. And I'm just so tired. I had the most exhausting week, okay, with exams and everything. Form Five is hell. What else is new, hmm? Well, I've been writing crap, and lots of it. Today, after I finished the Moral paper, I wrote this total stupid shit about how I never cut my toenails and Naz nags me constantly. In the end, I said that with my toenails, I shall be called Sabretoe (y'know, like Sabretooth?). At least it's creative.
I've been up late writing books,
All about heroes and crooks,
One of them saves you from this,
The other one steals you and then,
Sure things fall,
And all sure things fall.
Oh, and today I found out that I'm not the only one who can't concentrate on studying without music. Charmaine can't, either. And she stays up till crazy hours to write, too! I haven't written in ages, and it's like 1:48 am now. Maybe I should get to writing. Yeah, I think I will, and finally write down whatever it is I wanted to write just now. If I can still remember. By the way, good news regarding tennis -- Amelie's in the semis. I didn't think she'd be able to take Elena Dementieva without the French crowd behind her, like at the GDF in Febuary, but looks like my girl's on a roll! God, I hope she comes to play here next year. It would be awesome to see her live, with her beautiful hair and legs and hands and jawline. The jawline on that woman absolutely murders me every single time. And I think it would probably be sharp enough to stab someone with, unlike Sharapova's, whose head is a funny shape. What? It is, okay. And she'd have a huge forehead, if not for her fringe, which covers it. Amelie pwns all!
Do you remember how we used to get so high,
It didn't work at first we tried it two more times,
And we could breathe the windows down,
I was thinking of the temperature outside,
Cool like the water that was running from our eyes,
And we could breathe the windows down,
It's a new place that we had found.
Okay, the first time I heard this song, I'd just bought Yellowcard's Lights and Sounds and after the first three songs, I was about to write the CD off as complete bullcrap. Instead, this song comes on over the speakers and it's almost as good as Empty Apartment off the first CD (yes, I have all the Yellowcard CDs, for the sake of it). Granted, there were only six songs off the whole CD of 15 songs (including the hidden track, Three Flights Down) that were worth listening to, but it was enough to make me get off my butt to go get their third album, which also wasn't the best they'd ever done, but passable. Oh, before I forget, I was having this hilarious conversation with Nick the other day. He's such a sweetheart and doesn't believe that Richard Gasquet is guilty of doing cocaine. I'm rather inclined to agree with him, not because he's my favorite gay, but because I like Richard and he comes across as a really nice guy. Not to mention, he's friends with Amelie. I also don't think it's true because I love Nick.
He can take you all the way to church this time,
But don't forget you summed it up in fifteen lines.
I can't wait to read Malinda Lo's Ash. Okay, I know I'm a sucker and everything but I like re-written fairytales. I'll read anything even remotely like that, and in case you haen't guessed by the title, Ash is a retelling of Cinderella, but with a hot Fairy King's Hunter. So awesome, right? I'm getting worked up just typing this out! It sounds so good, seriously, I cannot wait to get my hands on that book! So the next holidays, in June, I'm gonna go buy it and read it on the beach in PD while everyone else runs around like headless chickens. Thing is, when I read in PD, on the beach, I tend to forget everything around me and come back to KL looking like charcoal. Well, not charcoal charcoal, but you get the picture. And if I read in KL, I tend to stay up half the night (usually until 4am) just to finish a book. The last book I read was Paolo Coelho's The Winner Stands Alone. Deep and fantastic, indeed. I had so much fun reading it and trying to guess who he was going to kill off, and hoping that he wouldn't kill Jasmine. He didn't.
I've been up late writing books,
All about heroes and crooks,
One of them saves you from this,
The other one steals you...
NICK: Flightless birds? What is he talking about?
ME: Shut up, it's a good song.
NICK: Whatever you say. *pats my head* I'll pay some drunk guy to design the universe one day. It'll explain flightless birds, and then you'll be sorry!
God, this man is so funny. Times spent with him are never boring. Ever, or he'll kill himself (says Nick). Personally, I wouldn't want him to.
Of all of the places I've looked,
And all of the pictures I took,
One of them's here with me now,
I'm finally finding out how,
Sure Things Fall,
All sure things fall.
Stephie
He likes vampires and hit list radio,
But turns it off when he hears this one song he knows,
And you breathe the windows down,
You're driving I-4 as you make your way back home,
You ride in silence because he will not let go,
And you breathe the windows down,
It's a new place that you have found.
Shoot me for this, but I've fallen in love with Yellowcard all over again. Violins, people, violins. Anyway, I'm here, sitting in Bangsar while Naz watches some weird random stuff on DVD. I think it's Tipping The Velvet or something. Hah, Naz, I've seen it before on youtube! So, here's the thing, people. I've got this random idea floating around in my head, and I've kind of been very very lazy to even try to put it down. It's kind of very complicated to write down and if I start writing again now, I know that I won't be able to stop and I'll screw up at the end of the year, just like PMR, where I didn't study at all. And I'm just so tired. I had the most exhausting week, okay, with exams and everything. Form Five is hell. What else is new, hmm? Well, I've been writing crap, and lots of it. Today, after I finished the Moral paper, I wrote this total stupid shit about how I never cut my toenails and Naz nags me constantly. In the end, I said that with my toenails, I shall be called Sabretoe (y'know, like Sabretooth?). At least it's creative.
I've been up late writing books,
All about heroes and crooks,
One of them saves you from this,
The other one steals you and then,
Sure things fall,
And all sure things fall.
Oh, and today I found out that I'm not the only one who can't concentrate on studying without music. Charmaine can't, either. And she stays up till crazy hours to write, too! I haven't written in ages, and it's like 1:48 am now. Maybe I should get to writing. Yeah, I think I will, and finally write down whatever it is I wanted to write just now. If I can still remember. By the way, good news regarding tennis -- Amelie's in the semis. I didn't think she'd be able to take Elena Dementieva without the French crowd behind her, like at the GDF in Febuary, but looks like my girl's on a roll! God, I hope she comes to play here next year. It would be awesome to see her live, with her beautiful hair and legs and hands and jawline. The jawline on that woman absolutely murders me every single time. And I think it would probably be sharp enough to stab someone with, unlike Sharapova's, whose head is a funny shape. What? It is, okay. And she'd have a huge forehead, if not for her fringe, which covers it. Amelie pwns all!
Do you remember how we used to get so high,
It didn't work at first we tried it two more times,
And we could breathe the windows down,
I was thinking of the temperature outside,
Cool like the water that was running from our eyes,
And we could breathe the windows down,
It's a new place that we had found.
Okay, the first time I heard this song, I'd just bought Yellowcard's Lights and Sounds and after the first three songs, I was about to write the CD off as complete bullcrap. Instead, this song comes on over the speakers and it's almost as good as Empty Apartment off the first CD (yes, I have all the Yellowcard CDs, for the sake of it). Granted, there were only six songs off the whole CD of 15 songs (including the hidden track, Three Flights Down) that were worth listening to, but it was enough to make me get off my butt to go get their third album, which also wasn't the best they'd ever done, but passable. Oh, before I forget, I was having this hilarious conversation with Nick the other day. He's such a sweetheart and doesn't believe that Richard Gasquet is guilty of doing cocaine. I'm rather inclined to agree with him, not because he's my favorite gay, but because I like Richard and he comes across as a really nice guy. Not to mention, he's friends with Amelie. I also don't think it's true because I love Nick.
He can take you all the way to church this time,
But don't forget you summed it up in fifteen lines.
I can't wait to read Malinda Lo's Ash. Okay, I know I'm a sucker and everything but I like re-written fairytales. I'll read anything even remotely like that, and in case you haen't guessed by the title, Ash is a retelling of Cinderella, but with a hot Fairy King's Hunter. So awesome, right? I'm getting worked up just typing this out! It sounds so good, seriously, I cannot wait to get my hands on that book! So the next holidays, in June, I'm gonna go buy it and read it on the beach in PD while everyone else runs around like headless chickens. Thing is, when I read in PD, on the beach, I tend to forget everything around me and come back to KL looking like charcoal. Well, not charcoal charcoal, but you get the picture. And if I read in KL, I tend to stay up half the night (usually until 4am) just to finish a book. The last book I read was Paolo Coelho's The Winner Stands Alone. Deep and fantastic, indeed. I had so much fun reading it and trying to guess who he was going to kill off, and hoping that he wouldn't kill Jasmine. He didn't.
I've been up late writing books,
All about heroes and crooks,
One of them saves you from this,
The other one steals you...
NICK: Flightless birds? What is he talking about?
ME: Shut up, it's a good song.
NICK: Whatever you say. *pats my head* I'll pay some drunk guy to design the universe one day. It'll explain flightless birds, and then you'll be sorry!
God, this man is so funny. Times spent with him are never boring. Ever, or he'll kill himself (says Nick). Personally, I wouldn't want him to.
Of all of the places I've looked,
And all of the pictures I took,
One of them's here with me now,
I'm finally finding out how,
Sure Things Fall,
All sure things fall.
Stephie
Friday, May 15, 2009
...friday, I'm in love
PIK EE: There is no Fatimah Tuani in Bukit Kepong!
ME: There is! Look! *holds out book*
PIK EE: No there isn't! I know if I look, you'll be like, "Haha, gotcha!"
ME: *rolls eyes* When you fail your BM because you don't know Fatimah Tuani's name, don't come crying to me!
PIK EE: The SPM guy wants to trick me, too!
ME: There is! Look! *holds out book*
PIK EE: No there isn't! I know if I look, you'll be like, "Haha, gotcha!"
ME: *rolls eyes* When you fail your BM because you don't know Fatimah Tuani's name, don't come crying to me!
PIK EE: The SPM guy wants to trick me, too!
Moral was sucky. I didn't leave much blanks thanks to Helen.
All I could remember was, hargadiritoleransikasihsayang and a few others.
Die like fuck. Hung out in 5 B later.
Pn. Selina rocks my socks!
Oh, oh, and happy sexy seventeenth, Kiran Jacob!
Adorkable boy.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
...and I was Thursday's Child.
School today was funfunfun!
No studying at all.
Corrupted the juniors a little -- Rebecca is fun.
Went to the canteen during study hours to buy food to eat in class with Kee Jin.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
...but you're waiting for Wednesday.
Thankyouu Wong Sue Theen for letting me copy your Maths.
I shall pass because of you...
...I hope.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
...woke up one cold Tuesday
English was a holiday. Wrote about Rafa.
Math tomorrow -- die, die, die!
I'm going to sleep, fuck you all very much.
Monday, May 11, 2009
...on a rainy monday
Currently listening to Rainy Monday - Shiny Toy Guns.
BM was bull-fucking-shit. Thank god for Fida for letting me copy my face off. Pn. Nik is a bitch.
I'm going for a run later. I need to run away from everything!
Oh, and Astro got a new tennis channel (816)
Life is good.
Thank fuck for Cadbury and Nick. My two favorite men, ever.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Walter Reed
Walter Reed
I count the cases piled up high,
For the 1:15,
For platform and for passerby,
It's the same routine,
I'm ranting while I’m raving,
There's nothing here worth saving.
Today was the last time we taught the kids. Sounds so final, doesn't it? I was so depressed, I tell you. I've honestly grown to love them, over the weeks -- Mikhail, Jared, Mark, Ryan. Ryan is so cute. And Mark looks like a Smurf, even Joyce agreed over that. Did I mention Marcus wants to have babies with me? He's hilarious, that boy, and fat happy Chindian babies don't seem so bad.
MARCUS: Happy Mother's day, Steph.
ME: *stares at him*
MARCUS: I mean, I know you aren't one yet, but you wanna be?
ME: *laughs my ass off* That's a good one. Seriously.
MARCUS: I know. *smirks* I thought of it on the way here.
Tell me now what more do you need,
Take me to Walter Reed tonight,
Baby I've lost the will for fighting,
Over everything,
Well there's a few things I gotta say,
And make no mistake, I'm mad,
Cause every good thing I've had,
Abandoned me.
Anyway, for those of you who don't know, my grandma hasn't been feeling too well lately. She broke her arm, then developed fever, which turned out to be Dengue. We discharged her from the hospital when Auntie Vagina/Wedgie (as in, the pulling underwear thing), Uncle J, Vanessa and Annie came down yesterday, and it's all been downhill from there. She won't eat at all, or walk. All she does is sleep or sit in her wheelchair. I'm trying to be strong, and leave it to God and whatever higher power there is up there for once, but unless you've gone through it, you probably won't understand how much it hurts. She doesn't even talk to me, and that hurts even more than the fact that she has no will to do anything else, since (trying my best not to sound conceited) I've been her favorite since I was born, looking like a worm with hair. I've never done this before, but God, you know what's best for everyone. Help me, dammit.
All I want to do is hide,
It's graduation day,
And everything I learned inside,
Didn't seem to pay,
I've had my fill of palm trees,
And lighting up Grauman's Chinese.
On a lighter note, we've got the Madrid tournament starting up tomorrow. Ame, Rafa, Rodge (sorry, Helen), Nole, JJ, Dina, Sveta, life looks good, tennistically (yes, I know that's not really a word). Also, tomorrow, on a not-so-much-lighter-note, exams start at SMK Bukit Jalil. Yes, shitty indeedy. There's BM to be learned. Thankfully, I've already covered most of that shit (come on, who writes a play called Jangan Bunuh Rama-rama [Don't Kill Butterflies]?) If I were to write a play, it would be something depressing and award-winning and I'd call it somthing Shakespear-ish, like "Two Reasons Out of Many", or whatever. Then I'll win an Oscar like Diablo Cody (who is my new role model, by the way, and directed Juno, for you oblivious goons who don't know her) and the press and media will out me to the world. My mother will stare at me at the dining table and say, "You have so much explaining to do!" Can't you just see it? I can.
Tell me now, what more do you need,
Take me to Walter Reed tonight,
Baby I've lost the will for fighting,
Over everything,
And there's a few things I gotta say,
Make no mistake, I'm mad,
Cause every good thing I had,
Abandoned me,
A sad and lonesome me.
My dad's watching the MU game, and he just cursed loudly. I think it's really funny when my parents curse, for the simple and lame fact that they're parents, and just not supposed to curse. My mom said something really funny just now while I was arguing with Vanessa about wearing a dress for Confirmation (I will not wear a dress). She looked at us and said, "Fuck, why can't anyone force my daughter to change her mind? I may be a mother, but I might not be a good one!" My first thought was, "Ohmygod, my mother just said fuck." and then my second thought was, "Um, lady, where do you think your precious little girl gets her strong opinions from?" If I asked her that, though, she'd probably give me some stupid smartass answer, like, "You get your opinions from your grandfather. You become more and more like him every day." And she truly believes (along with half of my family,) that I'm the disgruntled, grumpy, hardheaded one, and therefore, I'm just like him. It's okay, though. I loved grandpa like anything (and I still do), and I'm more than proud as fuck to be just like him!
I'm the walking wounded,
And I'd say it to your face,
But I can't find my place.
God, my stupid laptop is taking forever to load my facebook page, so I'm gonna go hit it and yell and swear at it for a while in hopes that it'll listen to me. Yeah, I know it probably won't work, but to each their own, right, so leave me be. I've also got Dragonette's Galore on download right now. Fuck I have to see them live. Not to mention, I'm also listening to John Denver's Annie's Song downloading. I love that song. It's got beautiful lyrics and I think Brandi Carlile should do a cover of it. I know, it's old, but have a listen. You might like it. Oh, and wish me luch for tomorrow's Bahasa test (which is so not needed, but you know the government...)
So tell me now what more do you need,
Take me to Walter Reed tonight,
Baby I've lost the will for fighting,
Over everything,
And there's a few things I gotta say,
Make no mistake, I'm mad,
Cause every good thing I had,
Abandoned me,
A sad and lonesome me.
Steph
I count the cases piled up high,
For the 1:15,
For platform and for passerby,
It's the same routine,
I'm ranting while I’m raving,
There's nothing here worth saving.
Today was the last time we taught the kids. Sounds so final, doesn't it? I was so depressed, I tell you. I've honestly grown to love them, over the weeks -- Mikhail, Jared, Mark, Ryan. Ryan is so cute. And Mark looks like a Smurf, even Joyce agreed over that. Did I mention Marcus wants to have babies with me? He's hilarious, that boy, and fat happy Chindian babies don't seem so bad.
MARCUS: Happy Mother's day, Steph.
ME: *stares at him*
MARCUS: I mean, I know you aren't one yet, but you wanna be?
ME: *laughs my ass off* That's a good one. Seriously.
MARCUS: I know. *smirks* I thought of it on the way here.
Tell me now what more do you need,
Take me to Walter Reed tonight,
Baby I've lost the will for fighting,
Over everything,
Well there's a few things I gotta say,
And make no mistake, I'm mad,
Cause every good thing I've had,
Abandoned me.
Anyway, for those of you who don't know, my grandma hasn't been feeling too well lately. She broke her arm, then developed fever, which turned out to be Dengue. We discharged her from the hospital when Auntie Vagina/Wedgie (as in, the pulling underwear thing), Uncle J, Vanessa and Annie came down yesterday, and it's all been downhill from there. She won't eat at all, or walk. All she does is sleep or sit in her wheelchair. I'm trying to be strong, and leave it to God and whatever higher power there is up there for once, but unless you've gone through it, you probably won't understand how much it hurts. She doesn't even talk to me, and that hurts even more than the fact that she has no will to do anything else, since (trying my best not to sound conceited) I've been her favorite since I was born, looking like a worm with hair. I've never done this before, but God, you know what's best for everyone. Help me, dammit.
All I want to do is hide,
It's graduation day,
And everything I learned inside,
Didn't seem to pay,
I've had my fill of palm trees,
And lighting up Grauman's Chinese.
On a lighter note, we've got the Madrid tournament starting up tomorrow. Ame, Rafa, Rodge (sorry, Helen), Nole, JJ, Dina, Sveta, life looks good, tennistically (yes, I know that's not really a word). Also, tomorrow, on a not-so-much-lighter-note, exams start at SMK Bukit Jalil. Yes, shitty indeedy. There's BM to be learned. Thankfully, I've already covered most of that shit (come on, who writes a play called Jangan Bunuh Rama-rama [Don't Kill Butterflies]?) If I were to write a play, it would be something depressing and award-winning and I'd call it somthing Shakespear-ish, like "Two Reasons Out of Many", or whatever. Then I'll win an Oscar like Diablo Cody (who is my new role model, by the way, and directed Juno, for you oblivious goons who don't know her) and the press and media will out me to the world. My mother will stare at me at the dining table and say, "You have so much explaining to do!" Can't you just see it? I can.
Tell me now, what more do you need,
Take me to Walter Reed tonight,
Baby I've lost the will for fighting,
Over everything,
And there's a few things I gotta say,
Make no mistake, I'm mad,
Cause every good thing I had,
Abandoned me,
A sad and lonesome me.
My dad's watching the MU game, and he just cursed loudly. I think it's really funny when my parents curse, for the simple and lame fact that they're parents, and just not supposed to curse. My mom said something really funny just now while I was arguing with Vanessa about wearing a dress for Confirmation (I will not wear a dress). She looked at us and said, "Fuck, why can't anyone force my daughter to change her mind? I may be a mother, but I might not be a good one!" My first thought was, "Ohmygod, my mother just said fuck." and then my second thought was, "Um, lady, where do you think your precious little girl gets her strong opinions from?" If I asked her that, though, she'd probably give me some stupid smartass answer, like, "You get your opinions from your grandfather. You become more and more like him every day." And she truly believes (along with half of my family,) that I'm the disgruntled, grumpy, hardheaded one, and therefore, I'm just like him. It's okay, though. I loved grandpa like anything (and I still do), and I'm more than proud as fuck to be just like him!
I'm the walking wounded,
And I'd say it to your face,
But I can't find my place.
God, my stupid laptop is taking forever to load my facebook page, so I'm gonna go hit it and yell and swear at it for a while in hopes that it'll listen to me. Yeah, I know it probably won't work, but to each their own, right, so leave me be. I've also got Dragonette's Galore on download right now. Fuck I have to see them live. Not to mention, I'm also listening to John Denver's Annie's Song downloading. I love that song. It's got beautiful lyrics and I think Brandi Carlile should do a cover of it. I know, it's old, but have a listen. You might like it. Oh, and wish me luch for tomorrow's Bahasa test (which is so not needed, but you know the government...)
So tell me now what more do you need,
Take me to Walter Reed tonight,
Baby I've lost the will for fighting,
Over everything,
And there's a few things I gotta say,
Make no mistake, I'm mad,
Cause every good thing I had,
Abandoned me,
A sad and lonesome me.
Steph
Saturday, May 09, 2009
"She's Amelie Mauresmo"
Okay, I officially have no life. This is to the tune of "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin. As you proably guessed from the title, it's for Amelie. Personally, I think it's pretty good.
She's into competition,
Head raquets, tennis balls,
I feel a premonition,
Williams' sisters are gonna fall.
She's into new sensations,
New kicks at Wimbledon,
She's got a new addiction,
Out on the French nation.
She'll make you keep on watching,
that tennis match all over again,
even if Jelena won,
Yeah she does not feel the pain,
I guess she is insane...
Upside inside out,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She'll want another round,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
The clay court's devil red,
The match is a game of poker,
She beats 'Lena now,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo.
US Open in New York City,
The grass court, what a thrill,
She's won the first 2 sets now,
Serena, lose she will.
She always drinks the water,
And thinks Hingis is so lame,
Once you've had a loss from her,
You'll never be the same,
Yeah, she'll make you go insane...
Upside inside out,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She'll always want another round,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
The clay court's devil red,
The match is like a game of poker,
She beats Ana now,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo.
She'll make you keep on watching,
That tennis match over again,
Even if Serena won,
She does not feel the pain,
I guess she is insane.
Upside inside out,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She'll always want another round,
She's Amelie Mauresmp,
The clay court's devil red,
The match is a game of poker,
She beats Venus now,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo...
She's into competition,
Head raquets, tennis balls,
I feel a premonition,
Williams' sisters are gonna fall.
She's into new sensations,
New kicks at Wimbledon,
She's got a new addiction,
Out on the French nation.
She'll make you keep on watching,
that tennis match all over again,
even if Jelena won,
Yeah she does not feel the pain,
I guess she is insane...
Upside inside out,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She'll want another round,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
The clay court's devil red,
The match is a game of poker,
She beats 'Lena now,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo.
US Open in New York City,
The grass court, what a thrill,
She's won the first 2 sets now,
Serena, lose she will.
She always drinks the water,
And thinks Hingis is so lame,
Once you've had a loss from her,
You'll never be the same,
Yeah, she'll make you go insane...
Upside inside out,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She'll always want another round,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
The clay court's devil red,
The match is like a game of poker,
She beats Ana now,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo.
She'll make you keep on watching,
That tennis match over again,
Even if Serena won,
She does not feel the pain,
I guess she is insane.
Upside inside out,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She'll always want another round,
She's Amelie Mauresmp,
The clay court's devil red,
The match is a game of poker,
She beats Venus now,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo,
She's Amelie Mauresmo...
Friday, May 08, 2009
...what happened during earth hour.
Okay, so this is kind of an answer piece to Trushal’s Earth Hour thing – the story where Tilakh ran off during Earth Hour to play football. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here to read Mr. LlamaMonkeyBear’s blog.
Anyway, this conversation takes place between Helen’s mom, Aunty Sarah and I. It’s purely fictional. If you believe this, well, I don’t know what to say to you!
*my phone rings* ...everybody knows it’s true, you’re a bitch and you are a slut…
ME: *yawns* Hey.
AUNTY SARAH: Stephanie, have you seen Helen?
ME: Um… Who’s this? Why are you looking for Helen?
AUNTY SARAH: This is *static crackles* Sarah.
ME: Huh? Sorry? Mr. Wong? Why are you calling me about Helen?
AUNTY SARAH: *static crackles* This is not Mr. Wong! I’m asking about my daughter!
ME: Oh, wow, Mr. Wong, that’s so nice that you’ve finally decided to accept her into your family as your daughter-in-law! And you’re finally calling her your daughter! Roshan must be so happy about it.
AUNTY SARAH: She is my daughter, and who’s Roshan?
ME: Oh, Mr. Wong, you’re so funny, pretending you don’t know your own son! You know, Sarah and I knew this would happen -- that Helen would run away with Roshan sometime soon. We just didn’t want to tell you.
AUNTY SARAH: What are you talking about? I’m Sarah! And where is Helen?
ME: *laughs* You’re not Sarah, Mr. Wong! You’re Mr. Wong!
AUNTY SARAH: I’m *static crackles* Aunty Sarah, dammit, Helen’s mom!
ME: Oh, Sarah, why didn’t you say so sooner? Eh, did you know about Helen running away with Roshan? Que scandalosa, no?
AUNTY SARAH: Are you telling me my daughter is involved in a scandal?
ME: Huh? Helen’s not your daughter, la, idiot.
AUNTY SARAH: This is not Sarah Lois Dorai, this is the other Sarah!
ME: I don’t know any other Sarah. You’re wasting my time and it’s hot and dark and Earth Hour. I do not have the time or patience for this. Byee…
AUNTY SARAH: *sobs* My daughter has gone missinggggg…
ME: Oh, you’re Helen’s mom! Why didn’t you say so earlier? *sigh* I don’t know what’s wrong with you grown ups.
AUNTY SARAH: So, what happened to Helen?
ME: This is the most awesome scandal you’ll ever hear of, Aunty. Helen ran away with Roshan, Godma’s son!
AUNTY SARAH: Oh. Well, in that case, I won’t bother looking for her, then. I have Hannah, who I’ll never send for tuition because of this!
HANNAH: *in background* Yay!
Far away in KLIA, a plane takes off to a college in USA, with Helen and Roshan sitting in it, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes.
GODMA (back in OUG): Helen Sneha, I am going to kill you! *makes peanut cookies*
Anyway, this conversation takes place between Helen’s mom, Aunty Sarah and I. It’s purely fictional. If you believe this, well, I don’t know what to say to you!
*my phone rings* ...everybody knows it’s true, you’re a bitch and you are a slut…
ME: *yawns* Hey.
AUNTY SARAH: Stephanie, have you seen Helen?
ME: Um… Who’s this? Why are you looking for Helen?
AUNTY SARAH: This is *static crackles* Sarah.
ME: Huh? Sorry? Mr. Wong? Why are you calling me about Helen?
AUNTY SARAH: *static crackles* This is not Mr. Wong! I’m asking about my daughter!
ME: Oh, wow, Mr. Wong, that’s so nice that you’ve finally decided to accept her into your family as your daughter-in-law! And you’re finally calling her your daughter! Roshan must be so happy about it.
AUNTY SARAH: She is my daughter, and who’s Roshan?
ME: Oh, Mr. Wong, you’re so funny, pretending you don’t know your own son! You know, Sarah and I knew this would happen -- that Helen would run away with Roshan sometime soon. We just didn’t want to tell you.
AUNTY SARAH: What are you talking about? I’m Sarah! And where is Helen?
ME: *laughs* You’re not Sarah, Mr. Wong! You’re Mr. Wong!
AUNTY SARAH: I’m *static crackles* Aunty Sarah, dammit, Helen’s mom!
ME: Oh, Sarah, why didn’t you say so sooner? Eh, did you know about Helen running away with Roshan? Que scandalosa, no?
AUNTY SARAH: Are you telling me my daughter is involved in a scandal?
ME: Huh? Helen’s not your daughter, la, idiot.
AUNTY SARAH: This is not Sarah Lois Dorai, this is the other Sarah!
ME: I don’t know any other Sarah. You’re wasting my time and it’s hot and dark and Earth Hour. I do not have the time or patience for this. Byee…
AUNTY SARAH: *sobs* My daughter has gone missinggggg…
ME: Oh, you’re Helen’s mom! Why didn’t you say so earlier? *sigh* I don’t know what’s wrong with you grown ups.
AUNTY SARAH: So, what happened to Helen?
ME: This is the most awesome scandal you’ll ever hear of, Aunty. Helen ran away with Roshan, Godma’s son!
AUNTY SARAH: Oh. Well, in that case, I won’t bother looking for her, then. I have Hannah, who I’ll never send for tuition because of this!
HANNAH: *in background* Yay!
Far away in KLIA, a plane takes off to a college in USA, with Helen and Roshan sitting in it, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes.
GODMA (back in OUG): Helen Sneha, I am going to kill you! *makes peanut cookies*
-end-
So, whaddaya think? Should I take Literature in college and become the next Sarah Waters?
Sunday, May 03, 2009
The Scientist
The Scientist
Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are,
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I've set you apart,
Tell me your secrets,
And nurse me your questions,
Oh, let's go back to the start,
Running in circles,
Coming up tails,
Heads on the science apart.
I've fallen in love with this song all over again. Isn't it beautiful? God, it's so sad, and sweet at the same time. Just look at the lyrics. My personal favorite line is, "Tenn you I set you apart." If a guy ever sang this song to me, I think I'd die. Then I'd come back from the dead and marry him, if he was hot and had a good voice. Hm, I wonder if Rafael Nadal or Richard Gasquet can sing. You know what, I don't even think Richard Gasquet would have to sing -- he could just say the words in that Frenchy French accent (sorry, I don't know how else to describe it) and I'd be his. I wouldn't even die, I'd hop into his arms and demand that he give me fat happy Chinese babies (yes, technically impossible, I know, but I can dream, and if you think I can't, shut up). That's another thing -- I want a happy, fat Chinese baby. Kinda like Leann when she was younger (she was such a fat Chinese baby, it was so cute. Happy, mmm, not so much.). I will have my happy, fat Chinese baby! Amy, I need you to start having sex with random Chinese guys now.
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh take me back to the start.
I taught Sunday School again this week, with Joyce and Benjamin. I fell in utter, total love with Mikhail and Jarrod. I want a son that looks just like Mikhail! That'll be um... *thinks* Kipling. We taught them action songs today, and the song lineup was as follows (sorry, I'm in a band and an ensemble -- song lineup is very important): Who is that Man, Pharoah Pharoah, Jesus is my Rock and the Crippled Man. While we were doing Who is that Man, Joyce had to go talk to Melisa for a bit, so I encouraged the kids to come up and shake Ben's hand, and you know what -- they did! It was so fucking cute, okay. This is what took place after the little boys lined up to shake Ben's and for the millionth time or so:
ME: *unable to keep a straight face* Hahahahahaha...
BEN: *serious face while the kids shake his hand* Do not provoke me!
I thought that was so funny. Ben's hilarious, but I forgot to look at his hands! Next week, then.
I was just guessing,
At numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart,
Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart,
Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start,
Running in circles,
Chasing our tails,
Coming back as we are.
Guess what. Nick thinks, that when I get married, I won't be able to make it down the aisle without falling down and having sex with my other half. What an ass. This is why I'm having a beach wedding, in your face, Nick! The topic of weddings came up when mom's friend's daughter (they're Malays, my mom has a lot of Malay friends. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?) passed out her wedding invitations and you know what? the wedding if five fucking days long! What the fuckbucketsohmygod. Someone remind me to have a very small, short wedding on the beach. Sarah can do the ceremony, since she's the pastor's daughter, and everyone else can sit down and cry buckets. If I let you guys give a speech, you'd probably say something like,
"Ohmygod, do you even know Steph? Why the fuck are you marrying her? Quick, run while you can!" *Serena Williams drags you out, kicking and screaming*
And whoever it is stands up and looks at me, like the guy in the Katy Perry video. But I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. You might also say something nice, like,
"Wow, congratulations, Steph. You're such a player, I can't belive you're finally getting married! Hey, (insert name here), do you know your wife's a player?" *enter Serena Williams*
Nobody said it was easy,
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard,
I’m going back to the start.
xxSteph
Oh, oh! Rome on the 5th! Come on, Ame.
Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are,
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I've set you apart,
Tell me your secrets,
And nurse me your questions,
Oh, let's go back to the start,
Running in circles,
Coming up tails,
Heads on the science apart.
I've fallen in love with this song all over again. Isn't it beautiful? God, it's so sad, and sweet at the same time. Just look at the lyrics. My personal favorite line is, "Tenn you I set you apart." If a guy ever sang this song to me, I think I'd die. Then I'd come back from the dead and marry him, if he was hot and had a good voice. Hm, I wonder if Rafael Nadal or Richard Gasquet can sing. You know what, I don't even think Richard Gasquet would have to sing -- he could just say the words in that Frenchy French accent (sorry, I don't know how else to describe it) and I'd be his. I wouldn't even die, I'd hop into his arms and demand that he give me fat happy Chinese babies (yes, technically impossible, I know, but I can dream, and if you think I can't, shut up). That's another thing -- I want a happy, fat Chinese baby. Kinda like Leann when she was younger (she was such a fat Chinese baby, it was so cute. Happy, mmm, not so much.). I will have my happy, fat Chinese baby! Amy, I need you to start having sex with random Chinese guys now.
Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh take me back to the start.
I taught Sunday School again this week, with Joyce and Benjamin. I fell in utter, total love with Mikhail and Jarrod. I want a son that looks just like Mikhail! That'll be um... *thinks* Kipling. We taught them action songs today, and the song lineup was as follows (sorry, I'm in a band and an ensemble -- song lineup is very important): Who is that Man, Pharoah Pharoah, Jesus is my Rock and the Crippled Man. While we were doing Who is that Man, Joyce had to go talk to Melisa for a bit, so I encouraged the kids to come up and shake Ben's hand, and you know what -- they did! It was so fucking cute, okay. This is what took place after the little boys lined up to shake Ben's and for the millionth time or so:
ME: *unable to keep a straight face* Hahahahahaha...
BEN: *serious face while the kids shake his hand* Do not provoke me!
I thought that was so funny. Ben's hilarious, but I forgot to look at his hands! Next week, then.
I was just guessing,
At numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart,
Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart,
Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start,
Running in circles,
Chasing our tails,
Coming back as we are.
Guess what. Nick thinks, that when I get married, I won't be able to make it down the aisle without falling down and having sex with my other half. What an ass. This is why I'm having a beach wedding, in your face, Nick! The topic of weddings came up when mom's friend's daughter (they're Malays, my mom has a lot of Malay friends. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?) passed out her wedding invitations and you know what? the wedding if five fucking days long! What the fuckbucketsohmygod. Someone remind me to have a very small, short wedding on the beach. Sarah can do the ceremony, since she's the pastor's daughter, and everyone else can sit down and cry buckets. If I let you guys give a speech, you'd probably say something like,
"Ohmygod, do you even know Steph? Why the fuck are you marrying her? Quick, run while you can!" *Serena Williams drags you out, kicking and screaming*
And whoever it is stands up and looks at me, like the guy in the Katy Perry video. But I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. You might also say something nice, like,
"Wow, congratulations, Steph. You're such a player, I can't belive you're finally getting married! Hey, (insert name here), do you know your wife's a player?" *enter Serena Williams*
Nobody said it was easy,
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard,
I’m going back to the start.
xxSteph
Oh, oh! Rome on the 5th! Come on, Ame.
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