.my song.

Everything I do surrounds these pieces of my life that often change,
Or maybe I've changed,
Sometimes seeming happy can be self destructive even when you're sane,
Or only insane,
But don't bother waking me today.
Here I am,
I'm so young,
I know I've been bitter,
I've been jaded,
I'm alone,
Every day,
I'll bite my tongue,
If you only knew my mind was full of razors,
That cuts you like a word if only sung,
But this is my song,
It is my song.
Now I live every day like there will never be a last one till they're gone,
And they're gone,
I'm too proud to beg for your attention and your friendship and your time,
So you can come and get it from now on.
Here I am,
I'm so young,
I know I've been bitter,
I've been jaded,
I'm alone,
Every day,
I'll bite my tongue,
If you only knew my mind was full of razors,
I'm not sure I can take it,
I'm nothing strong to hold to,
I'll wait to only hate you,
My mind is full of razors,
That cuts you like a word if only sung,
But this is my song.

This one's for you, bitch. Try using me, comparing me to your pathetic friendwithbenefits so-called girlfriend, (you're not even fucking brave enough to call her your girlfriend) anything else, and I'll hurt you. I've said this before, but it looks like I can't be "just friends" with you. Maybe it's me, maybe it's not, but it'd be best for us to go our separate ways. So, not so politely, I'm telling you to fuck off.

Oh, and today, I met YAYDEN!

.us open crap.

ME: Come on, Jelena!
NAZ: Come on, Zheng!
ME: *indignantly* Jelena!
NAZ: Zheng!
ME: JELENA!
NAZ: ZHENG!
ME: *whines* Carmen...!
CARMEN: Guys, it's late, shut up, the both of you.
ME: *sticks tongue out at Naz*
NAZ: *whispers* Zheng!
ME: Shut UP, idiot.
NAZ: I wasn't talking to you.
ME: Yeah, right. Go fuck yourself. Carmen... Naz is bullying me!
CARMEN: Naz, shut up. I'm trying to finish this.
NAZ: *innocently* What'd I do?
ME: *whacks Naz with a pillow* Shut UP! Go Jelena! I love you less than Amelie!
CARMEN: *clears throat*
ME: Oh, and less than Carmen, too.
NAZ: Haha, Jelena's gonna lose her serve.
ME: Fuck you, asshole. Bite me.
NAZ: *hums Flight of the Bumblebee*
ME: *mutters* I bet you're only supporting Zheng cause she's Chinese. *looks at screen* Owh, shit, yeah! Come on, JJ!
NAZ: *groans* Oh, balls.
ME: *does victory dance* I fell in love with the JJ, JJ.
CARMEN: *clears throat again*
ME: Uh, oh, oh, I got it! I fell in love with the DJ and JJ!
NAZ: *rolls eyes* Bollocks, come on Zheng.
ME: Come on Jelena! Allez Jelena! Davai Jelena! Vamos Jelena!
NAZ: You said that in every language except German and the language Jelena actually speaks.
ME: Okay, I'll do German. Mppgfhskt Jelena! And what language does Jelena actually speak?
NAZ: *silence*
ME: Okay, I'll act like I'm Ana cheering Jelena. I mean, Ana's mumbling is probably what they speak, right?
NAZ: *starts to laugh* Stephanie, shut the fuck up. Don't you dare-
ME: Ayhamverrihhappeetobeheretosupportmykantrimate.Yakoveesh.SheweelbenumberonenowthatIlose.
NAZ: *rolls on the floor, laughing, then looks at the screen* Damn, damn, DAMN!
ME: Hahahahahaha. *sings to the tune of The Bear Went Over The Mountain* Zheng fell over Jelena, Zheng fell over Jelena, Zheng fell over JELENAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
NAZ: *finishes* And so say all of us!
ME: What the *laughs* you crazy child of a gorilla my god, nutcase.
NAZ: Yeah, yeah, you make me laugh something chronic.
ME: So, anyway, we're cool, right? Cause, y'know, Zheng Jie's gonna lose, anyway.
NAZ: Who died and made you Maria Sharapova?
ME: Aw, c'mon. Y'know, I'm blonde, y'know, and I couldn't play in the US Open, y'know, cause I broke a nail, y'know. Regrets, y'know.
NAZ: Stephanie, I said shut the fuck up! *giggles* Jesus!
ME: Owh, shit, Jelena.
NAZ: Come on, Jelena! Let her hold!
ME: Shut the fuck up, asshole. You're like the whole of Kazakhstan in Borat.
NAZ: Aaaaand whoa gaaaah, YEAH ZHENG!
ME: ZHENG IS UGLY!
NAZ: Dammit.
ME: JELENAA! I love JELENAAA! Go JELENAAAA!
NAZ: *sarcastically* Where's the fire?
ME: Oh, look, did you see Serena?
NAZ: Don't blame your mum, Jelena...
ME: Serena can't wait to get on-court! Get back you b... Uh...
NAZ: Look at Jelena's mum. *high-pitched voice* Oh, Mr Williams...
ME: Ew. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, BITCH! In your face! Jelena WON!

.THIS is love...

Waiting for Amelie to play. At about 3AM.

Who else? Getting wasted.

About to get stoned with Naz.

SO worth it.

.birthdays.

And happy 16th to Gracie!

And the same goes to Kitty-Kat.

The both of 'em. :)

My fave little kid ever, happy 11th brithday, Rissa. We'll probably never look alike, but you're ALWAYS my baby.

Bianca. Happy 13th. This pic is OLD, but I don't have a nice one of you and me.

Melanie fucktardeggtartcheesetartblueberrycheesetart-chickenpotpie-blueeyes. I hope you like the picture.:)

All my love to these mega-losers,

Steph

.no more nathalie!

So, I stayed home from school today. Why? Let's just put it this way - Amelie Mauresmo makes me sick. She played Nathalie Dechy and the stupid Astro SuperSport (it's ASS if you put it together, which is why they added the P, so not it's ASSP), didn't show the matches live. Was on the phone with Naz while following the match on Slamtracker (the greatest invention known to man). Anyway, I'll just get to the point, shall I? Amelie was playing her fellow countrywoman, Nathalie Dechy. She lost the first set but was brilliant with the second and third. Game, set, match, Amelie Mauresmo. My girlfriend, weih. I sat in front of my laptop and played along with my iTunes playlist (usually do that when I'm nervous and following a match on Slamtracker). Got through Adam Green, Melissa Etheridge, Catie Curtis, Katy Perry, LFO, The Moffats, Street Drum Corps, Pitbull, Leona Naess and Blink-182. Amelie was wearing this black and purple thing and she looked hot as hell. Duh. She's tanned and oh-so gorgeous. Maybe suspiciously a little too tanned, but whatever. She's still hot.

--bouquet of words

No idea who wrote this, but it's fuckin' awesome. I was like, "WHOA." Wish I'd written it, but, yeah. It was probably some fag like Shakespeare or whatever. But still, it's awesome, now don't go telling me that it was written by Jodie Foster for Ellen DeGeneres.

I took a walk along a field,
I saw a girl that wore corn-flower’s clothes,
She looked like a slender reed,
That’s shaken by the wind,
That’s plucked like a rose.

I made for you a wreath of dandelions,
I should be happy to lay eyes on,
Your locks with sunny flowers above,
But for my love, I have enough.

There are tulips, tulips, tulips,
They are like glasses with soft lips;
I wish you had a drink from one,
Which touches you lips as well as mine have done.

I came and brought you chamomiles,
There seemed to be two gentle smiles,
About telling fortunes time and time again –
Love, what’s it but a simple game?

"Do not forget me," said a forget-me-not,
"I’ll have a thought of self," a narcissus replied,
This useless discourse I have bought,
Has been continuing although flowers died.

Your head-dress is dahlia’s petals,
It’s like a wavy crown,
It’s like smooth thorns,
I named it twofold, yet as well,
I see: it's like a crown of the thorns.

Somehow, it reminds me of Amelie. God, I love that woman. And good luck for the US Open tonight, babe. You've got me in your corner - I'll be staying up for you.

.no jodas!

As you all probably know, Brazil met the hotties from the USA in the Olympic finals of Women's Soccer. And USA didn't thrash them, but they won, fair and square (Carli Lloyd isn't on drugs, Carmen. Jesus. And Lori Chulupny isn't stuck up. She's very nice. I think... So, anyway. Pictures!

Renata Costa (Brazil) and Lori Chulupny (USA) tussle for the ball.

Angela Hucles tackled by Formiga. NICK: "Dude, I thought Formica was the thing they use to make tables. Wait. Why are we watching this, anyway?"

Everyone jumping on Carli Lloyd after she scored a goal. Congrats, Carli! The goal was amazing.

NATASHA KAI!!! on the ball. She took of her shirt after the match. I was like, WHOA! *jaw drops open and drools* Anyway, she was wearing this really cool pink camo sports bra. I WANT!

And here, Lori Chalupny brings down Fabiana from Brazil. The Brazilians have such cool names, but there were only about two or three hot ones - Barbara, Cristiene and Daniela.

Natasha Kai acting like she scored the goal.

"Yeah, we won! Can you believe it?"

Yeah, I saved the best for last.

Okay, so the match was REALLY good, it went into overtime and everything. Like, they had half an hour extra. I was surprised that Pia Sundhage didn't put Natasha Kai in earlier. Some amazing, fantastic goalkeeping from Hope Solo, after the match, she cried. I was impressed - the Chinese (or was it Japanese?) goalie couldn't save ANYTHING. Hell, Stevie Wonder would've been a better goalie (quote Amelie). Anyway, congratulations to Carli Lloyd. Respect to you, woman! That was a really hard goal to net. I'll put up a video of it if I fand one.

Four Winds

Four Winds

Your class, your cash, your country, sect, your name or your tribe,
There's people always dying trying to keep them alive,
His body's decomposing in containers tonight,
In an abandoned building where,
A squatter's made a mural of a Mexican girl,
With fifteen cans of spray paint and a chemical swirl,
She's standing in the ashes at the end of the world,
Four winds blowing through her hair.
I haven't used a Bright Eyes song in ages. Anyway, tomorrow's Carissa's birthday and the day after that is Mel's birthday. A few days ago, it was Winson's birthday. He was sweet enough to reply the comment I sent him on facebook. God, that boy (man? He's 20) is such a sweetheart, okay? In Australia, we sat together on the bus and were random about everything. Now there's a guy who loves being random and crazy as much as I do. I sent him the most random birthday comment you can think of (it included something about UFOs). He's one guy I definitely don't regret knowing. I mean, during WYD, whenever anyone asked him to do something, he'd do ti without any complaints. So, here's to you, Winson Ng. Have a good one, you so definitely totally really do deserve it for being such a nice guy.
But when great Satan's gone,
The whore of Babylon,
She just can't sustain the pressure,
Where it's placed,
She caves.
NAZ: What's that on Amelie's neck?
ME: Bling. If I remember correctly it was a medalion of the patron saint of St Tropez that bit, uh, I mean, Sylvie gave her.
So, anyway, I just found out that there's a website dedicated to finding out who Amelie Mauresmo's girlfriend is. They've got pictures of everyone there - Sylvie Bourdon, Pascale Arribe, Marie de Villepin (that one's just speculation but she's hot) and obviously a crapload of yucky disgusting pictures of Geraldine Filiol. First someone says it's not Geraldine, it's Marie (she's the old Prime Minister of France's daughter). Then someone says it's neither of them, Amelie's back with Sylvie. Personally, I liked Pascale the best. She was, uh *coughs* very *chokes* um... *wheezes* sweet. Kind of. In a way, like, she never tried to control Amelie, liek Sylvie did. Gotta respect her for that.
The Bible's blind, the Torah's deaf, the Qu'ran's mute,
If you burn them all together, you get close to the truth,
Still they're pouring over Sanskrit on the Ivy League moons,
While shadows lengthen the sun,
Cast all the school and meditation built to soften the times,
And hold us at the center while the spiral unwinds,
It's knocking over fences, crossing property lines,
Four winds, cry until it comes.
This is one of the most controversial songs ever. Bright Eyes rocks for not giving a damn what anyone says. Well, it's in America, anyway, so no one really cares cause they have effing FREEDOM OF SPEECH there. Sound familiar, Malaysian Government? Raja Petra rocks for speaking the truth about our country and what do they want to do? Lock him up with no internet access ever again. I mean, if you guys wanna take our money, at least tell us about it and be frank, so that we can migrate or something. If you wanna put the bumiputera (notice the non-capitalization, it's not just bad grammar) first, lt us know. Be open with it, a'ight? This way, we can actually be proactive about it instead of standing there like the complete idiots they think we are and only knowing how to moan and groan and bitch.
And it's the sum of man,
Slouching towards Bethlehem,
A heart just can't contain,
All of that empty space,
It breaks, it breaks, it breaks.
Anyway, just a random update from all that ranting about this stupid little country. Jesus, the only good thing about it is the food. So yeah, update. As I type this, Amelie's won her first set against Patty Schnyder in the New Haven tournament. Naz's giving me updates on IBM Slamtracker (one of the most amazing devices known to man). Very painlessly done, too. But I doubt Amelie's gonna win the New Haven games cause my girl's got her eyes on the US Open, which is absolutely superb. Oh, and I have to remind Naz to get to the official site to check the draws for me and see how Amelie can pull this one off. According to Naz, Amelie's playing beautifully. Somehow, I won't be surprised if she pulls a Lindsay Davenport at the US Open. I mean, come on Amelie. Lindsay's just come back from giving birth (something you'll probably never do - we'll adopt) and she's got a highter ranking than you. Get ahold of yourself, hottie!
Well, I went back, I rent a Cadillac, a company jet,
Like a newly orphaned refugee, retracing my steps,
All the way to Casa Dega to commune with the dead,
They said, "You'd better look alive",
And I was off to old Dakota where a genocide sleeps,
In the black hills, the bad lands, the calloused east,
I buried my ballast, I made my peace,
With four winds, leveling the pines.
Okay, in this last paragraph, I'd like to add a disclaimer. The opinions stated above are my own and my own only. I will definitely not be acting on them (until I'm older at least - how can you expect me to put up with this shit?). So, people, if you've got any sort of opinion (come on, y'all can't be that dumb, you guys aren't named Loke Pui Yan, you know), cbox or comment.
But when great Satan's gone,
The whore of Babylon,
She just can't remain with all that outer space,
She breaks, she breaks, she caves, she caves.

Steph

.natalie portman rapping.

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. I love Natalie Portman and all, but stick to acting, gorgeous.

And although Natasha Kai can dance...



She absolutely stinks at Guitar Hero, but is really cute in thsi Nike ad.

And as for ads, here's one with Amelie in it...

.why i love the olympics.

"Justine's never gonna know..."
"Ohmaigawd! You speak Chinese?"
"Told you I waxed my armpits."

"Okay, so listen. I feel really uncomfortable right now..."
"Is this edible?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna stay like this until they call that ball in and give me the point."
"Um, okay. I know I won. You can stop kissing me now."
"You stupid, stupid little man..."

"I'm the next Van Gough. Pinky promise."
"Yeah, it's a funny story, actually..."
"And I am this close to killing the Russians..."
"Listen, as much as you think it is, it's just not right to make fun of ladies in bug-eyed sunnies!"
"Sure, Nathalie, you're gonna serve with that thing."

"Hee, yeah, last time I checked, I rule the world."
"Bitch, I know when I'm injured, okay?"
"And the sex was ssooooo good!"
"Yes, dammit, I need bodyguards! Do you not see that manic Malaysian girl trying to attack me?"
"Hey, hotstuff..."

"So do I win "Most Tattooed" yet?"
"Uh-huh. That's the way you do the hula."

"And then she left me for Amelie Mauresmo..."
"Kiss my fabulous Hawaiian ass!"
"So do I shoot goals from here or there?"
"Aw, shit, I totally forgot to tattoo my left hand."
"Mine, bitches!"

"Ehehehe, Abby doesn't know we tied her laces together."

"And, yes, Hope Solo IS blonde and hot and taller than I am, dammit!"
"God, if you ate any more of those tortillas, Abby..."
"Jesus, Abby, that was a stinker!"
"Now, if you look closely, you can almost see my boxers!"
"You ain't careful, bitch, and I'mma kick you in the face!"

"Ew. Is that a dead frog in that puddle?"

"And you can hardly tell the difference between my head and the ball!"
"Hahaha, no, Boxx, I really don't wanna kiss you."
"And you wonder why they call me the Flyin' Hawaiian..."
"Yes, I am a cool Hawaiian and I'll flip you off, thankewverymuch."

Between Natasha Kanani Janine Kai and Amelie Simone Mauresmo, I'm a goner. Oh, and I know Amelie isn't in the Olympics, but I love her the most and I SO couldn't resist.