--silver bells, and open fire, and songs we used to sing.

Christmas pictures!


You can see my highlights here! I was praying (yeah, right, pssh);

"Dear Ellen, thank you for letting all these amazing boys come to my grandma's house and save me from boredom." Hah.

Tze Hooi, me.

Ladies; take one.

Take two.

The boy husband (the sexiest one in the universe) who charmed the pants off everyone. :)

-

Thank you guys for coming, you made my Christmas.

-

Hm, Randy's brother got so drunk, it was hilarious, and insane.

My mom was blind to all the alcohol going around, but whatever. :)

well, then.

It's not the end of the world,
It's not even over, but it will be soon,
I never learn my lesson,
I just change my tune.
And no one seems to notice,
But you will, you will.

It's no big deal,
But the last thing I think of when I close my eyes,
And the first thing on my mind when I rise,
Is that day when you're not really in my life.

You can try and you won't find it where you're looking,
You can't hold it till it's putty in your hands,
And you can't break a heart that wasn't even yours to break,
You could never be there for me in the end;
I will do the right thing
I will.

You're not fooling me,
I'm not the sort of girl who can't see reason,
But it's nothing that a little bit of time won't heal,
I know it don't come easy,
But I love you,
I do.

And coming clean means never closing curtains,
I just change my scene,
Oh but you'll know what I mean,
And I will learn throughout my life to never lean on what will bend.

I can try and I won't find it where I'm looking,
I can't hold it 'til it's putty in my hands,
You can't break a heart that wasn't even yours to break,
You could never be there for me in the end,
And I will do the right thing,
I will.

I don't think you ever learned a thing from me,
But I'm sure that you want me to learn from you,
And you've drawn heavy handed lines around morality,
About yourself and I don't share your point of view,
It's been time to let you go a thousand times,
To never know that it hurts to be the one that you'd regret.

I have to say that I am proud to know you
And I'll never be the same because we met
You might not miss this
But I will,
I will.

---

Meh, I know it's Christmas and I'm supposed to be listening to Christmas music, but this song is amazing.

Not to mention that my (see the my?) Brandi is ubercute here. Yes, click to listen to the song with the lyrics above. :)

---

Anyway, merry Christmas from the Fernandez clan.

Shanna's making it very special for me (if you're reading this, texting you made my day). :)

and Mel?

I think I might like you forever. (:

Heh.

---

Right, I'm off for Christmas dinner.

Husband's coming over to meet the family. 0.o

*dies*

--if men are from mars, why can't we send them back?

Wrote a note and you sent it through your best friend,
It was cute; couldn't give it me in person,
Asked me if I would go with you to Canters,
I said yes though it wasn't to my standards.


And though,
You're talking to me softly,
Can't know,
Tomorrow you will call me,
And just in case you leave me after all,
I'll be saying...

I want you now, I won't recover,
If you're untrue, I will remember,
It's you I gave all of myself,
Nobody else.


Later on we were talking and you charmed me,
Sign me up, I'm enlisting in your army,
Swept me off my eyes and undercovers,
Close to you and I didn't want another.


And so to ensure your behavior,
You're gonna have to sign a waiver,
So since all my doubt has gone away,
I won't now or ever will be saying...


I want you now, I won't recover,
If you're untrue, I will remember,
It's you I gave all of myself,
Nobody else.


Me, KittyKat, half of Darren. :)


Bianca and I. I think my fingers grew or something?
---
Oh, and read the lyrics above. It's so what's going on right now.

"And to ensure your behavior,
You're gonna have to sign a waiver..."

---
And Merry Christmas, everyone. :) More later.

--i used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

Dumbfuck took this shot; I was thinking of J. Co. :)

Christmas is coming.

That's actually all I can think of to say.

I'm still in love, but whatever. :)

Brittany Murphy is dead, goddammit - I liked her.

She kicked major ass in 8 Mile and Girl, Interrupted.

And I cried watching Little Black Book, not to mention I loved The Ramen Girl.

Okay, so here're the people who died this year that I'm sad about;

Giselle Salandy, Yasmin Ahmad, Brittany Murphy, and not so much Michael Jackson.

More soon, then. :)

love.

--workitmovethatbitchcrazy.

Betchh; me. :)
I don't look like me at all, and I have a blister.
Betchh was cute, though, and a great fellow MC.
Yeah, I had fun.
---

Anyway. Other updates are...

I cut my hair really short for me.

And I got red highlights.

No, I don't look like a dyke.

Also, contrary to popular belief, I haven't finished my Christmas shopping yet.

And I've all but completely stopped going to church.

HALLELUJAH.

Uh... that's it. Pictures of new hair to come.

Wait, wait.

I took Bianca to Sunway on Wednesday, with Darren, Katrina and Darren.

And I ordered a Bahama Mama, and I didn't get carded (that's alcoholic).

Later on, we got free soup and free dessert.

Also, after lunch, the waiter wrote a message on our receipt.

"Thank you for coming, please come again." with a smiley face, and he circled his name.

The boys didn't stop teasing me about it, and Darren took it to scan it.

---

--you should stay the night.

Better than stupiduglypaledisgustingperverted Edward Cullen.

Better than boringweird Harry Potter.

Better than your usual, blah, whatever chivalrous hero (I don't really give a shit).

I bet you're wondering who Steph is blathering on and on about, huh?

Well.

I've fallen in love, people.

Yes, again with a fictional character.

This time, it's Kaisa, the King's Hunter, from Ash by Malinda Lo.

Mmmmm. *closes eyes, visualizes*

"Black hair and brown-flecked green eyes."

*insert dead, happy Stephanie here*

Anyway, I think Kaisa's a major cutie -- who tells their dream girl their favorite fairytale during the first meeting ever?

Adorable.

Epic.

Oh, oh, andandand...!

Kaisa said this to Ash (Aisling, the protagonist);

"Truly, I won't let any harm come to you."

I read that line.

And I fucking melted.

Need I say more?

I think not.

Yeah, see, Hernandez?

You have so much to learn, from a fictional character.

Nah, you're perfect sickening the way you are. :)

All loud and weird and non-English-speaking.

Heh.

Oh, and before I forget?

I'm currently listening to We Might Fall - Ryan Star (which is super romantic and really sets the mood for the book).

...

Again?

"Truly, I won't let any harm come to you."

*squeals, dies*

Okay, I'm done.

:)

--pwaaaaah, epic.

This is the absolute fucking cutest thing.

EVER.

And if you disagree with me, I will poke you in the eye.

I love Brandi. Marry me, woman. :)

hello world, hope you're listening

"Tell me why I feel so bad, honey,

TV's flat and nothing is funny,

I get sad and stuck in a cone of silence."

...

Four years.

It's a bloody long time to stick with something. I haven't stuck with something that long unless I was pushed to do so (school). Hell, I'm not one to stick around, for things or for people.

If only, right now, it could be that easy.

-

I've exhaled, stared at the words I've just typed out and run a hand through my hair. Right now, I'm sitting here, in my French football jersey, mourning.

You sweet, funny, adorkable, talented, gorgeous woman. You obviously have no idea how much I'm going to miss you, and maybe it's better off that way, because if you see how much pain you're causing me (and most of your other fans), you'd be inclined to come back and play another round and make us cry again when you retire...

...but I digress.

-

Hell, I knew this would happen. I knew, one day, you'd retire, hang up your Reeboks and Head racquet, get on that Harley and ride off into the sunset to go surfing.

Still.

I thought I'd be prepared. Last week, when I read that you'd speak on Thursday, I thought I was prepared. Even so, I prayed.

Yes, Steph, the atheist who can't be bothered to give a fuck about god and all that is holy, got down on her knees at church and prayed. What I prayed for, you'll never guess.

I prayed not for you to not retire, because like I said, I knew it would be inevitable, but that you'd be at peace with yourself when you made this decision. I prayed that you'd think it through before you went through with it.

I prayed for your happiness.

-

Granted, I didn't cry while reading the first two articles about you and the r-word.

Then, I came across this one that said something along the lines of "...she burst into tears..." and I couldn't help myself, the waterworks started.

I know, I know, I pride myself on having the heart of stone, but still.

You've pretty much been my life for four years. It stings, no?

Stings to see you cry like that, and realize how much it meant to you. Also to know that I couldn't have done anything about it.

But I'm talking too much shit here.

-

Somehow, even though I knew I might never hear about you again (I keep thinking back to that tennis player who left a successful tennis career to become a nun), I felt happy (only slightly, but still), knowing that you knew what you wanted to do.

So with that, Amelie Simone Mauresmo, I wish you all the very best.

I'm proud to have been in your corner for four years, through good and bad. Thank you, for being such a graceful person, both on-court and off.

...

"Shut it out,

I've got no claim on you now,

Not allowed to wear your freedom down"

---

How I want to remember you:

In my eyes, you will do no wrong. ♥

--that girl.

I just felt like posting this, so bear with me.

---

Of course, how could I forget that day in form one? It'll stick with me forever.

The blazing heat.

The book I'd read about a million times, tucked under my arm.

The stupid songs that the teachers taught us in an effort to boost our self-esteem.

And to top it off, I practically knew nobody there. Well, nobody that I might make an effort to talk to. They all looked boring, anyway.

So yeah, there I was, escaping into my book, that'd probably seen better days. I probably had my nose in it when they herded us into the hall like a bunch of cows (and with that big backoff that Nadia has had, who wouldn't think so?

Anyway, we got into the hall, safe and sound, without any fistfights breaking out between the Mat Rempits and the um, Cheenabengsengs, or the usual, scary-looking Indian boys.

Yeah, so, I sat down and pretended to listen to the teacher for a while, when in actual fact, I was completely spacing out. And someone can attest to this, because, before long, I looked up, ADD kicking in.

And right there, was this girl, who was wearing a hairnet and holding the same fucking book as I was. How the hell could I have missed that?!

She smiled. "Good book, eh?"

And the rest, as they say, is history. But not, like the stupid boring awesome one you read in the textbooks. This is brilliant stuff. :)

---

Thank you, Meg Cabot.

Seriously? Nobody else.

Not even Jillian Michaels.

:)

---

Currently listening to: Jen Foster - Web of Roses.