--for the sake of following Steph's title format :)

Okays peeps. Helen here with pics from the cross-country run day -- be warned. *evil laughter*

Sarah patronizing, Helen with lunatic bulging-eyed smile, and Steph with distasteful look. Who took this shot again?

Steph's tongue, Steph, Sarah, and the walking bag of bones (or should i say bone with bag?) in the background.

Helen squints into camera, Steph overexcited as usual.

Helen: Don't even ASK.

Sarah the Retard thrilled that Helen the Eye-Roller is taking a shot at her. Oh, for the good ol' days.

Long story behind this shot. Anyway, I think they're under a windmill. Nice hair, you guys.

UM.

Steph trying for the Julia Roberts smile and failing. The effort is commendable, though.

In case you can't tell, Kiran REALLY didn't want to be taking this shot. No pun intended.

Darren, (not in pic), you should know better than to piss Mohan off when he's holding a gun. And pointing it at Helen, no less.

Kiran trying to spin the gun. No one could, incidentally.

Kiran getting too comfortable with the gun. :)

Darren, worried as hell and clutching his bottle in fear every time Mohan got hold of the gun.

Till next time. Helen.

-aw!

"Come here, Coffee."
"Why are you calling me coffee?"
"You said last night that I could."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did. Thank back, Coffee."
Me;You

Totally meant to last, don't you think?

You've got a smile that could light up this whole town.

--lalalala~

1. The person who tagged you is...
...Charissa.
2. Your relationship with him/her is...
...Uh, she's my cousin's ex-girlfriend? *thinks* I don't know, I'm feeling stupid now.
3. Your 5 impressions of him/her...
...Oh, she has many tattoos, she's kinda dramatic (no offence), she has piercings by the dozen, she's nice, and she lives in Penang where DVDs are cheap.
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you...
...No idea. Listen to random stupid things about Bianca?
5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you...
...I don't know. I'm retarded and feeling stupid right now! *cries*
6. If he/she becomes your lover you will...
...leave her for Amelie?
7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on...
...I don't know. Making sure Bianca doesn't kill me, I guess.
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
...complain to Daphne! Muahahahaha.
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be...
...I pissed her off with my stupidity, I guess.
10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is...
...steal the cupcakes that she and Daphna made and sent over via Jerms-maine.
11. Your overall impression of him/her is...
...Momma's friend.
12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
It kinda depends. If we meet for the first time, they'll think I'm a bitch, but if I feel like talking, it all works out since I can be funny.
13. The characters you love of yourself are...
...The fact that I'm so random and loud and funny.
14. On the contrary, the characters that you hate about yourself are...
...I can be a total bitch at times and say thing that I'll come to regret, but only sometimes.
15. The most ideal person you want to be is...
...Marie de Villepin.
16. For people who care and love you, say something to them.
Uh. Why do you love me, in the first place? If it's Amelie, I love you, too!
17. Pass this test to 10 persons who you wish to know how they feel about you.
Amy, Bunwoman, Pik Ee, Eusoff, Kok Yin, Sulekha, Charisa, Daphne, your mother, Batman.
18. Who is no. 6 having relationship with?
Some person with a fuckin' big nose, wei. You wouldn't believe it!
19. Is no. 9 a male or female?
It's your mother, you ask her, la.
20. If no. 7 and no.10 together, is that a good thing?
Hey, Batman's hot...
21. What is no. 2 studying?
PMR shit, and stressing like chickenshit while Amy and I laugh.
22. When is the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
Today.
23. What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
ZOMG RACHAEL YAMAGATAAAA!
24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
Yup, one supertall younger brother.
25. Will you woo no. 3?
No, but if I die, she gets Amelie.
26. How about no. 7?
No, and if I die, she doesn't get Amelie, cause I already gave Pik Ee. Sorry.
27. Is no. 4 single?
There should be girls from Perak lining up for this boy, do you not know how nice he is???
28. What is the surname of no. 5?
Ee. I think it's damn cool and easy to remember.
29. What is the hobby of no. 10?
Killing bad people.
30. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?
Kok Yin and your mother? Ask your mom.
31. Where is no. 2 studying at?
SMKBJ.
32. Say something casually about no. 1
She's awesome and has the most daring fashion sense in the world, with the shortest skirts and highest heels I have ever seen in my life. Ever.
33. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 6?
Go to hell. Nope.
34. Where does no. 9 live at?
You live with her.
35. What colour does no.4 like?
Pink?
36. Are no. 5 and 1 best friends?
They know each other, but that's all I know.
37. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
Sadly, that title is held by Adriana Lima.
38. What is no. 6 doing now?
How would I know?

Listen

Listen

Listen,
To the song here in my heart,
A melody I start,
But can't complete,
Listen,
To the sound from deep within,
It's only beginning,
To find release,
The time has come,
For my dreams to be heard,
They will not be pushed aside,
And turned into your own,
All cause you won't listen.
I have a gigantic headache from watching Dreamgirls with Naz (hence the title and song used for this blog post). The movie was honestly fucking annoying, the constant singing made me want to slap the shit out of Jamie Foxx and every other person there, except maybe Beyonce, cause she's a feminist, and Jennifer Hudson, because I mean, what kind of assholic person would slap someone like that after all she's been through? I'm certainly not going to be the first to do so. People might come after me and shoot me, cause we all know those hip-hop weirdos always carry guns with them and stuff. Why can't they be like those peaceful rockers, who just do a lot of drugs, but don't carry guns and threaten to kill random people? I'll never, ever understand hip-hop. For example, today, I turned MTV on, and that fucking ugly as hell pervert, Akon, was on, singing something that sounded like, "Nah nah nah nah nah..." over and over again. I turned to Naz and said, "You could lock me up in a room for 24 hours with this song and I swear, I'd never get it. People should just invent a hip-hop dictionary."
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads,
I'm not at home in my own home,
And I've tried and tried,
To say what's on my mind,
You should have known,
Now I'm done believing you,
You don't know what I'm feeling,
I'm more than what you made of me,
I've followed the voice you gave to me,
But now I've got to find my own.
Naz pretty much died laughing when I said this, though I was being serious. Lawyers, I tell you, never take anyone seriously. But Naz is different, thank Ellen, since I'd never met someone with African roots who didn't listen to hip-hop, but seriously, I'm thankful that Naz doesn't. I need someone to yell out the lyrics to Aerosmith's "Crazy" (which, co-incidentally, is playing on my iTunes right now) with, and Naz gives me that, which makes me happy. Anyway, I kind of skipped Bible Knowledge this evening to spend time with Naz, which I haven't done in a long time. We jammed and stuff and I stole Naz's Alanis Morisette's "Feast on Scraps" album. Everyone should listen to "Fear of Bliss" by Alanis, I'll post the lyrics up here later or something so you guys can see how awesome it is. Okay, I'll admit the woman can't sing for nuts and is constantly going off-key (listen carefully, if you don't believe me), but there's just something about Alanis... I think it's her lyrics. See, this is why I don't listen to hip-hop. Because their lyrics don't mean anything! Now, my music, on the other hand...
You should have listened,
There is someone here inside,
Someone I thought had died so long ago,
I'm screaming out,
And my dreams will be heard,
They will not be pushed aside or worse,
Into your own,
All cause you won't listen.
As much as I don't like hip-hop, I'll admit, this is a good song. It's the best one off the Dreamgirls' soundtrack, and sometimes, I guess I feel like this. Like, nobody really listens, and even when they talk, it's just full off empty shit that's not worth saying, and if it's not worth saying, then why waste your breath to begin with? And then, there are the people who keep asking questions and questions and questions. Give me time to answer the first one before asking others! Do you seriously not realize that I am attention-deficit and there's only like, 0.5 things I can do at once? Honestly, this is why I could never be a celebrity. Press conferences would drive me crazy and I would kill someone and make the news for all the wrong reasons, and look worse than Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan put together, and Perez Hilton would hate me and spend time blogging about me. This is why I have to hire Helen as my manager is I get famous, even if it's for something stupid, like dating Amelie or something.
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads,
I'm not at home in my own home,
And I've tried and tried,
To say what's on my mind,
You should have known,
Now I'm done believing you,
You don't know what I'm feeling,
I'm more than what you made of me,
I've followed the voice you gave to me,
But now I've got to find my own.
As for my review of Dreamgirls, I think it was majorly annoying, except for some parts, and as far as musicals go, the constant singing gets annoying and made my brain bleed out of my ears. Take, for example, this lovely conversation I had with Naz while we were watching the movie:
NAZ: I have this buzzing in my head and I don't know what it is. *rubs forehead*
ME: *waves hand casually* Oh, it's just this bomb I implanted in case you ever leave me and take the opposing side against me in court.
NAZ: *rolls eyes* Are you stupid? *looks at my face as Jennifer Hudson sings* That's your unhappy face. I see it a lot.
ME: Bring me a big knife so I can cut off my head.
NAZ: *laughs ass off*
I don't know where I belong,
But I'll be moving on,
If you don't,
If you won't,
Listen,
To the song here in my heart,
A melody I start but I will complete.
Okay, now I have a headache all over again, just thinking about Dreamgirls. I was kinda laughing during the movie, too, since, there was this episode in Ugly Betty season one where Amanda and Marc (that's the gay guy and the bitch, in case you didn't know), were sitting around drunk, wearing dresses and singing the "Dreamgirls" song, which I kept picturing while Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson and the other girl with a big mouth (I can't remember her name) were singing it. And since I have a headache, the song now playing on my iTunes ("I Get Around by Dragonette) isn't helping at all. So yeah, I think I'm gonna switch off my iTunes and read for a bit, and go to sleep, since I'm not feeling too well, and there's somebody's wedding I have to go for tomorrow. And I hate weddings -- they're stupid.
Now I'm done believing you,
You don't know what I'm feeling,
I'm more than what you made of me,
I've followed the voice you think you gave to me,
But now I've got to find my own,
My own.

Lots of headache-y love,
Steph

--aunty Amelie won!

Guess what, you fuggers? Amelie Simone Mauresmo, yes, the Amelie Simone Mauresmo whom I'm hopelessly devoted to, managed to wangle a win over three of the WTA Top 10 players to squeeze her way back into the top 20 and claim her crown as the Gaz De France champion for the third time. Here are the pictures.

After hitting a good shot:

After winning:

Crying Amelie:

With her trophy:

With 'Lena D:

And Hugo LeCoq:

And last but not least, Francoise Mauresmo, her mom, my mother-in-law:

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've just downloaded a new interview of Amelie, and I need to upload it to my MP3 player, since I thrive on the sound of her voice

Allez Amelie, y'all!

Steph

--25 things.

1. I have a supermassive crush on Amelie Simone Mauresmo.
- She's got gorgeous eyes, gorgeous hair, and an amazing body, second to none. Not even stupid bitches who you probably have a crush on, like Tyra Banks who has a damn big ass and flashes her boobs in public. Amelie has never, ever done that.

2. Right now, I think Sandi Thom's "What if I'm Right" is the most brilliant song ever.
- I'd love to meet her. I've been living on her album since about last week. When I told Sarah, she said, "Oh, yeah. She's pretty." Uh, okay... I didn't ask if she was pretty of not, I was just telling you that her music is damn good.

3. I got a new grey shirt that I absolutely love.
- It has an alien on it. 'Nuff said.

4. Personally, most guys are assholes. Except for *coughcoughcough* (Helen knows) and a couple of others.
- I hate Mohan the most, he sucks and Darren does not look like him at all.

5. Bitches get on my nerves like hell.
- You know those stupid people who pretend to like you, but are just lying to your face. They suck, don't they? Yeah, I know. And those other bitches, who go around seeking attention with their pathetic little attitudes and mentality that they can have everyone in the room. Screw you, get AIDS and die.

6. Homophobes, too.
- How can you even have that opinion about someone? That's like hating someone just because they like vanilla ice-cream and most of everyone else likes chocolate.

7. Refer above for closed-minded fucks who can only come up with, "Dyke, lesbo, faggot, homo, etc." It's fucking gay, you dickheads.
- How fucking politically incorrect can you get? You want Mz Fontaine to bash you up or what?

8. I think facebook is for real friends.
- People who randomly add other people is a tad disturbing, don't you think?

9. Crapping with Pik Ee is like the most fun thing to do during roll call.
- Hey, after Kuan Ngee went mad and started farting, and Roger Federe smelled it, the next best thing that could happen is me getting a harem. And I did.

10. I come late to school (7:25 am, earliest) almost every day.
I wake up at 6:45 am and shower and have breakfast in record time. I think you should think twice before starting to nag and congratulate me instead for being so fast.

11. I've been playing the violin for six years now, but I think I'm pretty useless at it.
- I can't say that I rock at it, it'd sound damn egotistical. Plus, I can't play chords to save my life and my sight-reading is awful. Take that away, and I can actually play passably.

12. When I get older, I'd like to have a pig, a monkey, a cow and big dogs 'cause small ones are pussies.
- Small dogs just get in the way. I have big feet and tend to step on them. And then they cry like babies. Big dogs are more huggable, anyway. Refer to my beloved Cadbury, who's so much more than a handful, but so worth it.

13. Feminism in a man is extremely sexy.
- A man who thinks women should be running the world? Phwoarr!

14. My TV crushes are Willow Rosenberg, Gregory House and Thirteen!
- They're just hot. And, "You can't yell at me -- I'm a cripple." is like my favorite quote ever.

15. Instead of saying "Ohmygod," I sometimes say, "OhmyEllen" cause she's awesome.
- Helen and I have agreed that she's god.

16. I thank Ellen for my besties (especially Helen and Naz) every day.
- I need people like them around to run my life and tell me what I can and cannot do, and what I have to do, and what's just a bad idea.

17. My computer is being a fucking bitch right now and I want an iMac like Amelie's.
- I can't see Katrina's blog. I'll restart it later.

18. In my dreams, I've tried to kill my parents, only to have Helen, Carin, Amy and Viv stop me (and there was a hot Punjabi guy there, too).
- Ask me about this, you'll be in stitches, I swear.

19. I'm jonesing for Bailey's right now.
- It's smooth and has sugar in it. I generally hate coffee, since it tastes like crap and Milo/Ovaltine/Horlicks exists, so why exactly should I drink crap that stunts your growth and gives you bad breath? Even Amelie hates it, okay.

20. I probably could talk crap for a living.
- Look at this conversation I had with Nick the other night.
ME: Quasimodo!
NICK: Rosie O'Donnell!
ME: Wesley Snipes!
NICK: *I can't put her name here cause she reads my blog, but fffahk, she is ugly*
ME: Swet dreams, donkey-fucker!
NICK: Night-night, *that girl's name*-lover!

21. I'm very, very vocal about my dislikes. Take it or leave it.
- Seriously, if you get on my nerves, I'll tell you to fuck off right away. And if you do anything to piss me off, I'll take you down. Need an example? Ask JJ about this morning.

22. When words don't work, I try to be funny... And it pisses people off, 'cause they wanna be serious.
- But the people who love me let me be. And it's useless trying to reason with me, because the more you try to be sensible, the more I'll talk crap until you've forgotten what you were saying to begin with.

23. Miley Cyrus is a stupid bitch, and so are you, if you listen to her.
- Her songs are stupid. She makes Paris Hilton look like Natalie Portman, i.e., a Harvard grad.

24. I come up with crazy ideas about how to meet Amelie Mauresmo like every day. And happily tell them to people.
- And if you love me, you'll shut up, listen and assure me that it'll work.

25. A lot of people know me as, "The girl who swears and shows the middle finger a lot."
- This is according to Pik Ee. For example:
PIK EE: Eh, you know, if you ask people if they know Stephanie, they'll aswer back, "Oh, you mean the girl who says f-words and shows the middle finger?"
ME: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

--valentine's day dates

Okay, here's a list of fourteen people we'd all like to take out, or be taken out by on Valentine's Day. No, I will not be dating any of them just yet, and yes, I have no life, and yes, I am partial to gorgeous, gorgeous men with dark, messy, long hair. *squeals*

Numbaah 14: Taylor Daniel Lautner.

Numbaah 13: Ellen Philpotts-Page.Numbaah 12: Joshua Winslow Groban.Numbaah 11: Anna Christine Nalick.Numbaah 10: Adam Green. Numbaah 9: Melissa Morrison "Missy" Higgins.Numbaah 8: James Paul Marsden.Numbaah 7: Natalie Hershlag/Portman.Numbaah 6: Michael Holbrook "Mika" Penniman.Numbaah 5: Elizabeth Stamatina "Tina" Fey. Numbaah 4: Rufus McGarrigle Wainwright.Numbaah 3: Brandi Carlile.Numbaah 2: Rafael Nadal Parera.Numbaah 1: Amelie Simone Mauresmo.



Like you didn't see that one coming.

Happy Valentine's Day, people!

22.01.2009

The day Sharifah says, “fucker” and shows the middle finger. It shocked everyone around her.
“Oh my god,” says Kuan Ngee (who hates the word “fuck”.)Then suddenly, outrageously, Kuan Ngee becomes mad. She hesitates for a while and pulls her hair. And then she ate it. Then she stared at Pn. Loi’s gorgeous hair. She started drooling. Chun Haw appeared and was collecting Kuan Ngee’s saliva. Kuan Ngee’s face turned red and she started to fart. Chun Haw, who loves Kuan Ngee’s fart, felt that it was so fragrant.
Roger Federer walked in, smelled the awful, non-fragrant fart, and ran out with his long fingers over his nose. Helen fainted. Only to awake to a remorseful feeling for fainting instead of running after Roger.
“Engkau tidak berumah,” said Sarah.
Why the fuck is she speaking BM, Steph wondered, translating for Amelie, Dinara and Svetlana, her harem. Pn. Hoo did not dare scold her about her shoes because Dinara would beat her up.
Sarah continued speaking BM. “Pukimak!”
Then Pn. Rozali came in and praised Sarah for having an interesting kosa kata, but Serena Williams appeared and yelled, “Alert!” and pulled down his belt completely and sat on him. Kuan Ngee continued to fart with pleasure until Sharifah and Pn. Valsala came in, smelling the fart, thinking it was freshly-baked cupcakes they could sell to Barrack Obama. Suddenly, Pn. Tan walked in, only to have her face blown apart by Kuan Ngee’s delicious farts.
“Save me, Barrack!” yelled Pn. Tan.
“No,” says Barrack, suddenly appearing from nowhere. “How can one be saved by delicious farts, you should count your blessings that you got it in your face instead of tasting it in air.

- fin -

You’d have to believe in unicorns; leprechauns; the Easter Bunny; ET; gremlins; pixies; Tinkerbell; the fundamental soundness of the economy; the Bermuda Triangle; Bigfoot; the Loch Ness monster; Amelie Mauresmo’s boyfriend; the heterosexuality of Natalie Portman, Jay Alexander, Samantha Stosur, TR Knight, and Elina Ivanova on America’s Next Top Model, and everything you've ever seen on The X-Files.
And you have to believe a Nigerian prince needs your money in order to save his country; Bronx Mowgli is a perfectly acceptable baby name; Sarah Palin would have made a good vice president; you were always on Willie Nelson's mind; the Brothers & Sisters writers handled the Scotty story line expertly; Kissing Jessica Stein ended just the way it should have and Tina Fey isn't very smart to believe that this actually happened.
Well.
Sharifah actually did say “fucker” and show the middle finger.

--don't cry. say "fuck you" and smile.

What video is currently embedded on your profile and why?
Uh... That video Amali took of me and Amy making stupid faces into the camera. It's funny and it has me in it, so why shouldn't it be on my profile?

When and where have you met a celebrity, or which celebrity would you most like to meet?

Oh, oh, I've met Shunda K from Yo Majesty, which was awesome, and she was really cool. I think that's the biggest celeb I've met... Also, I'd be most likely to meet (and date) Amelie Mauresmo.

What pop culture character are you most like, and why?

*thinks* Probably Justin Walker from Brothers and Sisters. Troubled as hell, and quote Vanessa, my oldest cousin, "You're so damn happy to have a dark personality! Read Francesca Lia Block some more."

What CD is in heavy rotation for you right now?

Oh, oh, Sandi Thom's "Smile, It Confuses People". I highly recommend it.

If we hacked into your DVR, what would we find?
Lots and lots of Amelie pictures? And good music.

What song are you currently singing in the shower?

Today, I was doing "Guess Who Batman" by Lily Allen, who totally owns Katy Perry.

What movie star does your pet most resemble?

Brad Pitt. He's a gorgeous, gorgeous dog. Ask anyone who's seen him.

--crushcrushcrush

Valentine's Day is on a Saturday.

Seeing you would definitely make my Valentine's Day.

And to think I used to hate that stupid day.

I think it was easier when I hated it.

Why do you have to look like that?

Fishnugget.

Yes, fuck you all, I am crushing.

And I'm actually kinda happy.

One week till Verjainah Daie. And I'm not planning anything.

I'm still anti-Valentine's.

--courtesy of Helen

This was waaaay too tempting. I had to post it! All credit to Helen.

Svetlana: Hey, Amelie, I just farted.

Amelie: You did what?