.half-empty or half-full?.

Wrote this last year during an upsetting time and just found it again. Decided to post it. Enjoy.

-Full-
Caia Fuentes/Savannah Powell
They go over to Savannah’s hotel room after their gig and everything turns to a shade of sky blue, until Caia thinks her eyes are fooling her. They’re all rainbows and sunshine, making the room float a little. Then they’re both sitting on a couch, laughing like happily-ever-after could happen. Savannah leans over, pressing her chin into Caia’s shoulder and her mind wanders, making her vision go sort of dull. When she looks again, she finds that Savannah’s looking at her too, with something like a drowsy smirk and there’s a finger tracing her collarbone without justification. The glass is stuck to the brim and not a drop will spill. So she smiles back and the feeling in her stomach is like she’s falling easily knowing someone will catch her.

-Half-Full-
Caia Fuentes/Kadin Joshua
No one knew how they got there in the first place, it was the second time they met and spoke, and the third time that Caia heard Kadin mention the other drummer (who was conveniently elsewhere). They walked, somewhat alone, on a trail in a park, in the middle of somewhere else.
How do people do all these things? How do they manage with the running around, the endorsements and advertisements?
The questions go unanswered for a moment.
Well, they manage, you work it in somehow.
A typical answer, claims the not so towering-over-everyone-right-now blonde. She was the sought after poster girl for the queercore scene, after all, she would always make it. Kadin would smile, look the other way and look back. Caia would look straight ahead of her, but watching out of the corner of her eye, fixated on Kadin. There was a lack of exchanged comments for a while, trees rustling to break the static silence. Eyes met again, mutual smiles, the glass remains at half-full.

-Half-Empty-
Caia Fuentes/Kadin Shepard
She always had a glow about her, radiating something, some kind of light maybe. And once eyes found her, they couldn’t bring themselves to look away, elsewhere at the dull surroundings of press conferences or gig stages. And lying on hotel beds at two a.m. wasn’t going to change the fact that she couldn’t look away. Caia was scared that breathing too loud might ruin whatever was going on, the glimpse of trust or something bright and happy that had shown up for the first time. Then Kadin turned around, looking at her silently, with those wide green eyes; a look that she reserves for special occasions. Then the glass goes from half full to half empty in less than a second when Kadin parts her lips to say something she knows she doesn’t have to like.

-Empty-
Savannah Powell/Kadin Shepard
They’re all together and it’s never happened before. They’re all together but Caia’s not really there with them and she didn’t know why (or was in denial about it). Her eyes tended to wander to the dull green of the grass and her sneakers instead of sharing words that made everyone laugh. She wanted to find something to pick at and fuss over and forget she was here, but she didn’t know why she wanted it to be that way. Before she bothers to look at them, she knows Savannah's arm will be around the other’s shoulder and the older (by a few months) will laugh, face flushed a tickled red. And the glass tips over, spilling over the counter when the laughter is finally confirmed.