22.01.2009

The day Sharifah says, “fucker” and shows the middle finger. It shocked everyone around her.
“Oh my god,” says Kuan Ngee (who hates the word “fuck”.)Then suddenly, outrageously, Kuan Ngee becomes mad. She hesitates for a while and pulls her hair. And then she ate it. Then she stared at Pn. Loi’s gorgeous hair. She started drooling. Chun Haw appeared and was collecting Kuan Ngee’s saliva. Kuan Ngee’s face turned red and she started to fart. Chun Haw, who loves Kuan Ngee’s fart, felt that it was so fragrant.
Roger Federer walked in, smelled the awful, non-fragrant fart, and ran out with his long fingers over his nose. Helen fainted. Only to awake to a remorseful feeling for fainting instead of running after Roger.
“Engkau tidak berumah,” said Sarah.
Why the fuck is she speaking BM, Steph wondered, translating for Amelie, Dinara and Svetlana, her harem. Pn. Hoo did not dare scold her about her shoes because Dinara would beat her up.
Sarah continued speaking BM. “Pukimak!”
Then Pn. Rozali came in and praised Sarah for having an interesting kosa kata, but Serena Williams appeared and yelled, “Alert!” and pulled down his belt completely and sat on him. Kuan Ngee continued to fart with pleasure until Sharifah and Pn. Valsala came in, smelling the fart, thinking it was freshly-baked cupcakes they could sell to Barrack Obama. Suddenly, Pn. Tan walked in, only to have her face blown apart by Kuan Ngee’s delicious farts.
“Save me, Barrack!” yelled Pn. Tan.
“No,” says Barrack, suddenly appearing from nowhere. “How can one be saved by delicious farts, you should count your blessings that you got it in your face instead of tasting it in air.

- fin -

You’d have to believe in unicorns; leprechauns; the Easter Bunny; ET; gremlins; pixies; Tinkerbell; the fundamental soundness of the economy; the Bermuda Triangle; Bigfoot; the Loch Ness monster; Amelie Mauresmo’s boyfriend; the heterosexuality of Natalie Portman, Jay Alexander, Samantha Stosur, TR Knight, and Elina Ivanova on America’s Next Top Model, and everything you've ever seen on The X-Files.
And you have to believe a Nigerian prince needs your money in order to save his country; Bronx Mowgli is a perfectly acceptable baby name; Sarah Palin would have made a good vice president; you were always on Willie Nelson's mind; the Brothers & Sisters writers handled the Scotty story line expertly; Kissing Jessica Stein ended just the way it should have and Tina Fey isn't very smart to believe that this actually happened.
Well.
Sharifah actually did say “fucker” and show the middle finger.