The Top 16 Stephanie-Jo Fernandez Do's and Don'ts

Okay, Helen here. Forgive me if this post sucks, but this is my first time blogging so I’m not very good at it. Steph called me recently and yelled, no, demanded that I keep her blog ‘alive’, and not just through the chatbox. (There goes our plan, Vivien.)

So. Straight to the point. I have been Steph’s best friend for four years, and trust me, that’s a long time, especially with Steph. I’m kinda an expert now, so I thought I’d post this up - I’ve wanted to do this since Moral class two years ago. So, sixteen Do’s and Don’t ’s for the sixteen years we lived practically next door to each other and still never met each other.


The Top Sixteen Stephanie-Jo Fernandez Do’s and Don’ts

16. DO ask if she has the ‘special’ eyes – even if they’re really contact lenses.

15. DON’T pinch her cheeks and squeal “Steffie-JO!” – even on Christmas Day.

14. DO try your best to keep up with her new-name-every-day policy, even if you wind up just calling her ‘Steph’ anyway.

13. DON’T insult Sanjaya Malakar - even if he is HORRENDOUSLY ugly.

12. DO mention her ass and upper arms so you feel good about yourself.
[ Just kidding, Steph ;) you lose weight faster than me anyway.]

11. DON’T attempt to clean her pencilbox or you will get hit.

10. DO pretend you like ‘disturbing’ books and videos – even if your religion says it’s wrong, Steph thinks it’s a new religion.

9. DON’T bother to argue about what she’s saying when she starts talking about her little tyko cousin Marcus with the fantastic pointing finger and cute commanding tone or she will hit you anyway, even if you have never touched her pencilbox.

8. DO talk cheerfully, openly, and comfortably to her extremely nice parents so she feels uncomfortable.

7. DON’T scream (like Sarah and I did) when you find out she has a RED SKIRT in her wardrobe. (Secret busted! Sorry, Steph, but I just HAD to put this in. Consider it revenge for the pink handbag pic; now we’re even. You know you love me…)

6. DO remind her to keep her voice down, even if you get hit for this too.

5. DON’T break her eyeliner while using it to draw circles on your wrist.

4. DO be honest and tell her that her brand new gray Converse pencilbox looks nothing like a shoe and instead looks more like a dirty sagging rectangle, even if Sarah disagrees because she feels sorry for Steph.

3. DON’T let her dog run out of the gate or Steph will chase after it and you will stand there laughing like a maniac as you watch her run.

2. DO ask her how many A’s she got in the UPSR if you’re meeting her for the first time; this kiasu question will make you best friends for a minimum of four years, right, Steph? ;)

AND

1. DON’T touch her hair.


Enough said.

Gas tanks full of love,

Helen.