Wednesday, June 04, 2008

--I never lied, it's time you started listening.

I've always been there. I know you trusted me, and felt like I never trusted you. Maybe I never did. Who really knows? I don't want to put the whole blame on you. Maybe it's not all your fault. Maybe everything that happened is just another thing to blame on me?
I'm growing up. I'm growing distant. Why can't you just accept that? If I knew everything would turn out like this, I would have never wasted those endless hours spent talking to you on the phone, making you smile, hearing your laugh. Things are different now.
I never had a reason to deceive you. With you, I was always myself. You never listened to me, it was always ME listening to YOU. When you talked to me, I knew you needed me. But I don't know if I need you. You're weighing me down.
Your jealousy scares me. I'm confused. Maybe I wanted you at first, but now - you're nothing to me. You don't own me; you're not my boyfriend, my girlfriend, not my family, no more even my friend. I should be able to do what I want.
I know you trusted me, maybe more than anyone. Just so you know, I've never betrayed your trust. I kept your secrets and I was always as straightforward as I could be with you. Now, as I look back on what we had, I see that to me, it wasn't even a friendship.
I'm not sure what I want from you. You're never completely there, now. I don't even know if you were there to begin with. You expect me to solve your problems like I'm a gift from the gods. I'm not like that, and you should know it.
When I sit here, contemplating what we were, you never knew how to draw the lines. Please know and understand that those words I told you the other night are the line that I'm drawing between us. I can't go on like this.
It's not like I'm severing ties with you completely. We can still be civil, if you want. If you want. There are so many times I've told you those words, if you want. When I wanted you, I did everything I could to make you happy. But guess what? I don't want you now.
We have different things to consider. You'll never understand me; you've never even tried. If you were stupid, I was a thousand times more so to put up with you. You don't even care, and now? It's just not my problem, and I have nothing more to say.

"Never miss anyone from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future."

No comments: